Friday, July 15, 2011

Sex Once in Two Years

The last post described events that happened almost a year ago! And since then I've kept up with the trying dating thing and managed to have possibly the most dysfunctional date known to womankind...

Background: I have said before that I date women and men. Truth be told, I've never actually had an honest-to-dog "normal" relationship with a guy. Never once had a boyfriend! I have had several long term relationships with women, and in fact, for a long time was a proud lesbian. Of course, it was a lie, I was always shagging boys in between girlfriends, but it was only a few years back I came out again - as openly bisexual.

So. I go out for Yum Cha with a girl I'd met online. I was pretty nervous and excited. I liked the look of her photo and emails and had gone to a bit of effort to look hot, but not, hey-I-used-to-be-a-whore-hot.

There was something grating about the gals personality. Impossible to place. But she was rude to the waiters and angry about the noise levels and hustle and bustle of Yum Cha. I knew that someone who couldn't keep her cool in a packed restaurant was not a long term prospect, but I couldn't bring myself to hurry the lunch and just up and leave. I think because I expected more from her I was hoping she'd suddenly live up to my expectations.

Unfortunately I was also busy that afternoon, so couldn't really afford to waste time in a coffee shop after just downing a million pork buns and egg tarts. I'm not sure how it happened, but she ended up coming with me to run chores! We went to the hardware store. Can you believe it!? She was helping me buy nuts and bolts! Now that is very lesbian. I'm kinda surprised we didn't just move in together after the hardware store, even though we didn't really seem to be getting any closer to liking each other.

I then decided I'd run her home across town. The universe hates me, forcing me to only date people without cars, or licenses I've noticed. And I'm too nice to force people onto public transport if I can help it. Curvy Gal to the rescue as always.

Now we come to the very best bit of the date. It's a long drive. She gets chatty. Starts disclosing things about friends of hers who were sex workers. Stories from brothels. It was odd. But being she was open minded I threw in a comment.

"Well, I used to do it. Sex work. For a year or so. I kinda miss it."

My heart was racing wondering what her reaction she would have. And it was a great one. Hand in the air loudly proclaiming, "That's it. I just can't do this. I can't date another sex worker!"

The floodgates well and truly opened. She'd been a whore. Her girlfriends had been whores. But they came from the "real sex work" world of brothels, drugs, dozens of guys a night, rapes, beatings, stand over bosses and more drugs.

This girl seemed to naturally assume that I had all of this in common. I was mute. Shocked. I dropped her home, she was still pouring out the story from the pavement but I couldn't listen anymore. Her experience was most definitely not my experience.

And there you have it. A Yum Cha to Hardware Store and Long Drive date with a Fellow Prostitute.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

The Blog that will not Die

I can't believe it was back September 2010 when I was outlining my sexual dilemmas since having given up the whoredom. And the issue still drags on!

After the last blog I decided I was desperate. I needed to break my revirginised hymen so I also broke my new moral code and I called on Married Lover/Photographer.

It was beyond ordinary. I don't want to use the word abysmal, but it wasn't far from it.

In the year or so since I'd seen him, Photographer had gained about 50 pounds and he was solid to start with. He had aged about a decade and age had eaten his arse. From behind he had saggy old man butt, like Samanatha saw in Sex in the City episode where she was sleeping with the 70 year old! I mean, yeah, I'm fat, but consistently so. Our combined bulk made some positions impossible this time round!

Worse though he was now self employed and turned up less cultured then I remembered, no corporate suits, and was littering his language with swearwords. All I could think was...he looks like the redneck version of James Packer (yes, that's Packer in the photo in his prime, and now). Actually, over the years we have been shagging I have often wondered if he is a relative of the media baron family cause he sure is a doppelganger. Maybe I have actually been shagging Packer, just with a bad dye job. I've sure been ripped off if I have, since he is not a paying client!

Afterwards I swore that my casual sex days were over. Yeah Riiiiight, I hear you say.

Stay tuned for other adventures.