Saturday, October 24, 2009

So you want to be an escort!

I've had a few similar Ask Curvy questions lately - about starting out as an escort. I've put off writing about it cause as much fun as I've had, and from everything I've learned, it's still not something I'd encourage people to go into unless they are really, really sure. I can't assess your mental state or personality traits to see if you are going to cope okay when you have that first freak out moment of "Oh my god, I just had sex for money!"

Please also remember that where I am, working as a single girl alone from a house, or visiting hotels and client's houses - it is all legal. No one can entrap me to give me a police record, or fine me, or argue that I'm not a fit and proper person to be around kids or whatever. I also don't have a relationship to put at risk. So the first bit of advice I would give is that you research the law where you are and find out exactly what you can and can't do, and what issues you would face if caught. Then look at your partner and kids and family situation. If you're okay with the possible consequences then that's a good, informed place to start!

This advice is also for girls wanting to work solo. I know nothing about brothel work or agencies!

You need to research like any other business idea. What's your market? Your prices? Your persona? What are other women and brothels offering around you? Ring a few phone numbers you find, or answer a few of the online ads as a curious client to find out prices and terminology and basically scope out your competition. Is there a gap in the market you could fill?

I kinda market myself as the middle-class escort. I'm not high end charging $600 plus an hour, but I'm certainly not even going to say hi to a client for less than $150 (and that at most gets you 30 mins. I've even charged that minimum for a ten minute fantasy). I target business men during the day, or tradesmen with some spare time. And of course anyone who likes BBW, but I draw the line at over fifty usually because I just don't want to go there. I only take bookings online. All of these restrictions mean I reject up to ninety percent of potential booking cause they want to talk on the phone, are too old, or want to negotiate too low on prices.

If you know your legal rights, and your market and persona are sorted, plus ideally you know how you'll advertise and where you'll work from then the next step is to try and find a mentor. Is there a call girl with an ad that you admire? Ask her for advice. She may be willing. Is there a sex workers outreach program around you? Or any kind of whore's association? Sign up if you can to scope out the scene.

If you can't find any one around you to help, you're going to have to tell at least one person in your life so you can organise some safety routines. Or you could try paying someone for the same service. Maybe someone to act as your safe call, maybe a driver, maybe a security guard. Or maybe it's your most trustworthy friend who is going to cover your ass. At a minimum have someone who will know where you are, with who, and when you are leaving. Ring them at the beginning and end and set up a plan if something goes wrong.

Maybe if you don't call them at the end then they wait a few mins and call you. And if no answer, or you say some sort of code word, they need to call the police. Have a story in place so that the cops don't judge you first up - at least until they've saved you. Get your friend to tell them you went home with someone from a bar or an online date and you're super worried because you've failed to call as arranged, or called and said something was wrong. Make the story good and scary so they'll go to your aid.

As part of your safety plan you should also be seeing clients only when drug free and sober, or you are asking for issues.

So I guess it boils down to knowing your legal rights and issues, a safety plan and a business plan. That's a good start.

Now you need to have a client plan. How are you going to fill the hour? It's too much if you just jump straight in. Try and relax them with a drink, or make them have a shower. Offer to shower with them. Massage them. Sex work is a bit of a art form - make them feel good but with minimum work for yourself or you'll burn out! At first you won't have a clue what you are doing but they will be just as nervous. Also think about your client boundaries. Kissing? Them going down on you? Spanking? Fantasties? Be very clear with what you will and won't do from the start.

That's about all I can think of for now but fire away with any questions, or jump in with your own experiences - I'm only one girl with some part time experience, on my own terms, outside of the "sex industry" as such so am still pretty naive myself!


Curvy Gal


  1. Good advice you serve your readers well.
    I think I will ad you to my blog roll.

  2. Hello, I've been following your blog, For the Love of Curves for awhile now and find your blog a good read. I have quite a few questions since I'm starting out in this field of work.

    I'm independent and have a driver for protection/transportation. I have a few questions/concerns

    How did come up with your rates? (I do outcalls and iincalls in hotels. I've thought of doing light fetishes for extra income)

    Being a big girl myself, I'm curious to know if your size affects your business and rates
    How do you screen clients?

    How do you market yourself? (how do you write your ads or describe yourself on your website, if you have one)?