Thursday, August 13, 2009

Douchebags

My last online ad has been a total bust. No bookings. Only one guy who was even a possibility and he didn't fit the four beers or less rule, so I nixed him. I seem to have run into a stream of fuckwits.

The replies started off with a one line enquiry, "Does the BBW girl do natural sex?"

I wrote back "No." I was at least amused by the third person usage.

Two hours later another email that started off okay and when it came to the confirmation there was the sly "I don't do sex with condoms."

I was mad enough to give him a bit of a lecture in return.

Next email was from someone who had an issue with my requirement for a face pic. He wrote a condescending email telling me, "Sorry to have to break this to you, but no man will send you a face pic just to get a bit of fun time with you."

I replied with a snarky, "Yes, they will, and they do. I am the only BBW working in my area and if you want to see me you follow my rules, or you don't see me. So the choice is yours - a face pic, or no booking is possible."

That got rid of him.

The last email of the day was a cute guy who sent a photo of himself and some girl who looked like his wife. Then he requested condom free sex, saying he loved the feel of cuming inside.

I lost the plot, told him he was crazy, risking his wife, me, himself, other partners and generally being an all round douchebag to not think through the consequences.

He replied with, "Well, she's not my wife. If I had a wife I wouldn't need to pay for sex now, would I?"

My answer, "Actually 80% of my clients are married." I love it that these clients reckon they know all about my business!

He needed the last word. "Well, there you go then."

Ha! Can't admit he's wrong, but couldn't let me end the conversation so wimps out with the pouty retort.

It's weeks like this I'm glad I'm not relying on sex work money to pay my rent!

6 comments:

  1. I'd love to read the lecture if you wanted to post it, haha.

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  2. Sounds like you had one of those days ... weeks. It seems like you have 'standard standards', and cats who can't meet them, are really not worth the trouble.

    Since my imagination is going, cats that insist on riding bareback would concern me. Don't know if you have ever allowed a client to ride you like that, but the first thing that came to mind, is that this cat is close to being some kind of serial criminal.

    Doesn't care about you, whoever else he is banging, or who he will bang next. Prolly a 'hurtin' waiting to happen.

    Glad you passed on that cat. Hopefully business will pick up. Do you offer 'cootchie cupons'? THAT'S A JOKE!!

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  3. Don't you feel bad sleeping with married men?

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  4. Hey Big Mark

    I have tried offering "specials" and they work but then they back fire cause people then won't pay regular rates or old clients hear about the special and try to get it too and such - ends up a mess!

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  5. Hey Anon

    I answered this in detail in my comments a while back - not sure exactly where though I'm sorry. But short answer - no.

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  6. I've just come across your blog, you share some very amusing anecdotes, and I laugh not at your expense but at the stupidity that you're subjected to!

    It's been a month since you wrote this post, so hope the requests/potential clients were more fruitful!

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