So it turns out the fastest runner in the world is not Speedy Gonzales, but Curvy Girl who was seconds away from being outed as a sex worker to her father through her own stupidity and sheer dumb luck.
Dad came to stay the night. In my house I had a very hot piece of paper - the annual renewal for the Sex Workers Union. I had been moving the renewal notice around the house for several days. One day moving it so the cleaner wouldn't see it. One day moving it so it didn't end up in my paperwork to take to realjob. One day moving it so some of my friends wouldn't see it. Why I didn't just pay it and be done with it I don't know.
Knowing Dad was on his way I thought I'd shove it between two books on the bookcase cause I knew he might poke around in piles of paper and junk.
All well and good until from across the room Dad goes, "Oh....you have Matthew Reilly books. I love Contest. Such a great read."
THEN he walks across the room to pick up said book. It was one of the two books I'd put the dreaded bit of paper between! I nearly had a heart attack. What are the odds that out of nine different shelf spaces for books he would manage such a feat?
I raced over and practically fell on top of him, grabbing another random book and shouting, "Well, you'd love this one then..."
When he turned in surprise to look at the other book I grabbed the piece of paper - red logo facing outwards I noticed, and ran into another room, shoving it deep under some random clothes.
I returned to see him calmly place Contest back on the shelf and then wander off to get a beer. Most likely thinking I was slightly mad.
Want to know why this close call was especially awkward??
My 62 year old father had just admitted that he was seeing a girl in the room next to him in his boarding house. An alcoholic, ex street-walker prostitute fallen on hard times- who also happened to be my age.
This morning after putting him on a train home I am disturbed and amused on several levels. Family eh?