So after my great justification of why I couldn't see Mr Married with his child ...well..I don't know if he's reading this blog or what but after my last entry he suggested we head out in public for the morning and catch up first - no sex, no pressure.
I went along with the whole idea as a great way to figure out if I really did want to sleep with him and figure out what exactly I wanted from the whole encounter, and how I felt about having to see his wife's baby.
While justifying this as a good compromise and feeling all smug and high and mighty of course I'm shaving my legs, trimming my girl bits and tidying my holiday apartment. Uh huh. I'm so transparent.
In the end we spent three hours having lunch and exploring the local area and the parks and Mr Married morphed into the ideal lover - as if he was indeed Mr Married To Curvy Girl. Affection in public, sweet kisses and whispered nothings. Actually that is the one thing my paid work doesn't give me and the one thing I do crave. And if he was acting or not, I didn't really care cause he was darn convincing.
I decided we'd play happy families for the day. I'm sure there were other married men kicking their wives with babies as they walked past us on our picnic blankets cause to the rest of the world we just looked like a very cute family in love and lust even with a tiny new kid on the scene. If only they knew!
We walked home hand-in-hand with the babe in the stroller. There was no question in my mind - we were going to bed. It was tricky with a kid who really did demand attention and feeding and entertainment and all of that baby stuff but by then my happy family hormones were flying so high I was happy to cradle her in my arms naked while kissing her father.
We "made love" while the baby gurgled with happiness and I really did not at all feel guilty. For something that is not at all justifiable it felt so amazing and natural and very Blue Lagoon - two naked adults in bed spooning a baby between them.
You know what I really wish - I could find this kind of situation where the wife knew and approved. I'd totally be happy being some kind of "Second Wife" and sharing him, having him a few nights a week. It would be ideal cause the other secret he is keeping from his wife, but not me, is that he too is doing sex work now. So in my ideal world we could be each other's refuge from the paid stuff, while he did all the domestic stuff with First Wife, and I just got the passion and spooning, being free to still do my own thing too. LOL.
Yeah, dream on Curvy Girl. I'm probably going to rot in hell for this behaviour. Well, not that I believe in hell, but you know what I mean!