Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Client # 18: When your mother gets involved in your sex work!

Alright kiddies - I'm back and feeling good. Which means...yes...I have a new client story for you. Yay.

I kind of got the gig by accident. I wasn't quite sure I was going to take the booking - photo was hot, everything seemed totally fine but it was a lovely Friday night and I was lounging around at home thinking of a wonderful free weekend. He wanted a booking early next morning!

I was tossing up whether I'd want to set an alarm to get out of bed when he confirmed he'd already booked the hotel. A little bit of premature excitement on his behalf. So I decided - what the hell...I just warned him I was totally turning up in "Saturday morning" clothes of cargo pants and a t-shirt. No way was I going to walk into some hotel in any kind of hooker-ware at that time of day!

I had to call him from the car park for the room number and he had to meet me in the lobby since it was a security lift. I hate that! Not being able to go up the room without meeting downstairs in an awkward manner. Even more surreal when he calls out my working girl name as he walks across the tiles and I realised I really, really need to change it. It's too out there and not realistic. Especially when one is wearing sneakers and no makeup at 9.30am in the suburbs on the weekend *and* has the complimentary weekend papers from the front desk stashed under one arm - hey, I never turn down anything free in a hotel!

We started off the way I normally do - there is an envelope and I count the money while making small talk. I hadn't organised a safety call to Bell cause it was all last minute by my gut feeling was fine. In fact, he's probably another guy I'd actually date in the real world. Lately I've had a string of young single guys who are all the perfect guy for some lucky girl.

Then we started kissing. And my phone rings. I jump at the chance to pretend that it's my safety call after all to confirm the start of our booking - thinking, whew, saved by a random caller. But I pick up and answer too quickly before realising - it was my MOTHER!!!!!

Oh dear god. My client is standing at the edge of the king bed which takes up most of the lovely, but small hotel room. I'm only metres away chatting away to my mother while he tries not to laugh. She wanted to know what I was up to on such a gorgeous weekend morning.

"Um.....having breakfast with friends actually..."

Before she can ask which friends, or even ask to speak to them or something horrendous I head her off with a quick "So, I shouldn't be rude and talk on the phone I guess. I'll call you after the baby shower I'm going to this afternoon."

Client hears this and enquires about my day - so I tell him about the friend's baby shower since I was stupid enough to blab about my real life. And we launch into this conversation about friends and family and his nieces and such and really our booking becomes very warm and friendly and I start to enjoy myself.

We take off our clothes, return to the kissing and fall into bed together. He's quite talented it turns out.

Then I realise..this really *is* the way a Saturday morning should be spent!


  1. Aww...Glad your day turned out to be a good one. I'm now interested as to what your name is while working. Thanks for that. :-)

    If only finding a guy to DATE was this easy...

  2. OMG I'd be mortified if my mom called in the middle of sex! You're better than me, I would have lost all appetite lol Glad you had a nice client though! Sunny Saturday morning sex is wonderful

    I love your blog, your openness. I hope you don't mind me adding you to my blog roll. :) I've been reading you for a while, and I wanted to say hello. :)

  3. Hey EM

    Yes - I agree. If dating was this easy it would be wonderful. I can't believe some of these guys aren't putting themselves on the market more. They are young, good looking and well paid - but overworking and so have no time for dating. What a waste.

    And lilalys

    Thanks for adding me to your blog roll and reading! I've been checking out your blog in return too ;-)