Friday, July 31, 2009


Goddamn some men are long distance shooters. Cum hit my laptop beside the bed! Eeek.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Now Dad gets involved in my business.

So it turns out the fastest runner in the world is not Speedy Gonzales, but Curvy Girl who was seconds away from being outed as a sex worker to her father through her own stupidity and sheer dumb luck.

Dad came to stay the night. In my house I had a very hot piece of paper - the annual renewal for the Sex Workers Union. I had been moving the renewal notice around the house for several days. One day moving it so the cleaner wouldn't see it. One day moving it so it didn't end up in my paperwork to take to realjob. One day moving it so some of my friends wouldn't see it. Why I didn't just pay it and be done with it I don't know.

Knowing Dad was on his way I thought I'd shove it between two books on the bookcase cause I knew he might poke around in piles of paper and junk.

All well and good until from across the room Dad goes, " have Matthew Reilly books. I love Contest. Such a great read."

THEN he walks across the room to pick up said book. It was one of the two books I'd put the dreaded bit of paper between! I nearly had a heart attack. What are the odds that out of nine different shelf spaces for books he would manage such a feat?

I raced over and practically fell on top of him, grabbing another random book and shouting, "Well, you'd love this one then..."

When he turned in surprise to look at the other book I grabbed the piece of paper - red logo facing outwards I noticed, and ran into another room, shoving it deep under some random clothes.

I returned to see him calmly place Contest back on the shelf and then wander off to get a beer. Most likely thinking I was slightly mad.

Want to know why this close call was especially awkward??

My 62 year old father had just admitted that he was seeing a girl in the room next to him in his boarding house. An alcoholic, ex street-walker prostitute fallen on hard times- who also happened to be my age.

This morning after putting him on a train home I am disturbed and amused on several levels. Family eh?

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Client # 18: When your mother gets involved in your sex work!

Alright kiddies - I'm back and feeling good. Which means...yes...I have a new client story for you. Yay.

I kind of got the gig by accident. I wasn't quite sure I was going to take the booking - photo was hot, everything seemed totally fine but it was a lovely Friday night and I was lounging around at home thinking of a wonderful free weekend. He wanted a booking early next morning!

I was tossing up whether I'd want to set an alarm to get out of bed when he confirmed he'd already booked the hotel. A little bit of premature excitement on his behalf. So I decided - what the hell...I just warned him I was totally turning up in "Saturday morning" clothes of cargo pants and a t-shirt. No way was I going to walk into some hotel in any kind of hooker-ware at that time of day!

I had to call him from the car park for the room number and he had to meet me in the lobby since it was a security lift. I hate that! Not being able to go up the room without meeting downstairs in an awkward manner. Even more surreal when he calls out my working girl name as he walks across the tiles and I realised I really, really need to change it. It's too out there and not realistic. Especially when one is wearing sneakers and no makeup at 9.30am in the suburbs on the weekend *and* has the complimentary weekend papers from the front desk stashed under one arm - hey, I never turn down anything free in a hotel!

We started off the way I normally do - there is an envelope and I count the money while making small talk. I hadn't organised a safety call to Bell cause it was all last minute by my gut feeling was fine. In fact, he's probably another guy I'd actually date in the real world. Lately I've had a string of young single guys who are all the perfect guy for some lucky girl.

Then we started kissing. And my phone rings. I jump at the chance to pretend that it's my safety call after all to confirm the start of our booking - thinking, whew, saved by a random caller. But I pick up and answer too quickly before realising - it was my MOTHER!!!!!

Oh dear god. My client is standing at the edge of the king bed which takes up most of the lovely, but small hotel room. I'm only metres away chatting away to my mother while he tries not to laugh. She wanted to know what I was up to on such a gorgeous weekend morning.

"Um.....having breakfast with friends actually..."

Before she can ask which friends, or even ask to speak to them or something horrendous I head her off with a quick "So, I shouldn't be rude and talk on the phone I guess. I'll call you after the baby shower I'm going to this afternoon."

Client hears this and enquires about my day - so I tell him about the friend's baby shower since I was stupid enough to blab about my real life. And we launch into this conversation about friends and family and his nieces and such and really our booking becomes very warm and friendly and I start to enjoy myself.

We take off our clothes, return to the kissing and fall into bed together. He's quite talented it turns out.

Then I realise..this really *is* the way a Saturday morning should be spent!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Silly Gal

Oh dear. I am an idiot. Am banging head against wall as we speak. No, really I lie. I'm in pyjamas eating ice cream and watching crap TV from my bed. I just turned down a well paid booking with a very good looking young guy who is about a half hour drive away.

No real reason except for some irrational desire not to wipe out any last traces of Mr Married. Like, oh, his lips were the last to touch mine, his penis the last one I had inside me.

Doh. Another spoon of icecream into my mouth.

Like Mr Married isn't already back home shagging his wife, or having some play in his own sex work. Or even at a prostitute himself - cause I know he has used them. You can bet if he is being careful there is no trace of me in his life - emails, photos, anything! And I'm certain no physical evidence. I was careful not to mark him.

Pity he has marked me in some strange way.

I need some more icecream - and perhaps as we say around my place, "a teaspoon full of cement". To harden the fuck up ;-)

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

A Few Tears, some Introspection

I'll admit right now that I'm in a pretty emotional frame of mind - hormones are going crazy on me at the moment. Still, I was surprised that the day after Mr Married left I cried on and off for HOURS. Longer, most likely, that the entire time his penis had ever been inside me.

Part of it was unrelated- I'm packing my suitcase to go back home, but I really love the spot I have vacationed in for the last three weeks and wish somehow I could live here. So there's that. Plus I don't want to go back to my dayjob. I am growing to hate it. But I don't think I could pull of the paid sex work full time and not have to work. So all of that is piling up as I sort through my books deciding which ones will fit under the baggage limit for international flights.

On a positive note, it is refreshing that I can still act like a stupid love stuck teenager and totally feel something for someone - being a whore hasn't really destroyed anything inside me. I'm not some dead-eyed-Hollywood version of a used up callgirl who is unseeing or unfeeling. Ha.

In between the tears I considered my situation. The tears weren't really for Mr Married. I mean if he turned around and said, right, it's you and me ( and kids) I don't think I'd be up for it. Rather the tears are showing me I need to go back on the dating scene. I need to be open to feeling something for someone I can have! But I have no idea how to approach this. Maybe you can all give me ideas - where on earth will I find any potential dates?

Here are the issues:

1) Male or female dates - I'm not fussy. But they have to be cool with the fact I've experienced both without getting their knickers in a knot. I could care less how they identify themselves.

2) Ideally they are okay with the sex work and my past adventures. I am willing not to do sex work while in a relationship if needed but I really don't want to pretend it never happened. And the fact that I have admitted to sleeping with married folk can't make them run screaming.

3) Monogamy is a issue. I believe it is possible with a lot of hard work. But I'm not really too fussed on the idea for either myself or my partner. I don't believe monogamy is how you show someone you love them or not, so need a relationship that considers some sort of outlet - polyamory perhaps, even just plain ol' swinging or an open relationship.

4) The whole size thing. I'm never going to be a size zero and I want someone who could care less. I don't want someone who it's a fetish thing for though.

5) Don't like animals or kids? Then move along, nothing to see's a not negotiable. And if you SLEEP with animals or kids, well then I'm sorry that's one kink too far ;-)

On the other side of the equation at least I'm open minded!! My date or partner could be single, divorced or already in some open or poly relationship and could be any race, size, gender and with or without kids, pets and material possessions. Any age from say late twenties to early forties is my best guess. And if there is "baggage" in their past too - cheating, sex work, whatever...I not one to discount them..obviously!

Oh, and if we are going for the ideal person - it's a non-smoker who is funny and smart.

So what do I do? Write up some sort of honest profile for a dating site (errr...BBW sex worker seeks...) or play it all cool and just reveal all of this stuff in tiny portions as I go along dating someone? Where would I even put such a profile? I mean, sure, I might get myself a Best-of-Craigslist nomination if I wrote this in a funny way...

Alright, step to it matchmakers. I'll consider anyone from any part of the world ;-)


Curvy Girl.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Heart over Head

So after my great justification of why I couldn't see Mr Married with his child ...well..I don't know if he's reading this blog or what but after my last entry he suggested we head out in public for the morning and catch up first - no sex, no pressure.

I went along with the whole idea as a great way to figure out if I really did want to sleep with him and figure out what exactly I wanted from the whole encounter, and how I felt about having to see his wife's baby.

While justifying this as a good compromise and feeling all smug and high and mighty of course I'm shaving my legs, trimming my girl bits and tidying my holiday apartment. Uh huh. I'm so transparent.

In the end we spent three hours having lunch and exploring the local area and the parks and Mr Married morphed into the ideal lover - as if he was indeed Mr Married To Curvy Girl. Affection in public, sweet kisses and whispered nothings. Actually that is the one thing my paid work doesn't give me and the one thing I do crave. And if he was acting or not, I didn't really care cause he was darn convincing.

I decided we'd play happy families for the day. I'm sure there were other married men kicking their wives with babies as they walked past us on our picnic blankets cause to the rest of the world we just looked like a very cute family in love and lust even with a tiny new kid on the scene. If only they knew!

We walked home hand-in-hand with the babe in the stroller. There was no question in my mind - we were going to bed. It was tricky with a kid who really did demand attention and feeding and entertainment and all of that baby stuff but by then my happy family hormones were flying so high I was happy to cradle her in my arms naked while kissing her father.

We "made love" while the baby gurgled with happiness and I really did not at all feel guilty. For something that is not at all justifiable it felt so amazing and natural and very Blue Lagoon - two naked adults in bed spooning a baby between them.

You know what I really wish - I could find this kind of situation where the wife knew and approved. I'd totally be happy being some kind of "Second Wife" and sharing him, having him a few nights a week. It would be ideal cause the other secret he is keeping from his wife, but not me, is that he too is doing sex work now. So in my ideal world we could be each other's refuge from the paid stuff, while he did all the domestic stuff with First Wife, and I just got the passion and spooning, being free to still do my own thing too. LOL.

Yeah, dream on Curvy Girl. I'm probably going to rot in hell for this behaviour. Well, not that I believe in hell, but you know what I mean!