Thursday, February 12, 2009

Valentine's Day Madness??

Tomorrow is V Day, and I'm nothing if not a well rounded whore. I used my sales and marketing skills from a previous life to make a contact list of potential clients out of my archives. And then I sent a Valentine's Day special email, "Everyone deserves some lovin".

I didn't reduce my rates too much really - just a nice seductive picture and a bit of a recap on how wonderful I am (ha. ha.)

Am now drowning in emails. And I've said yes to FOUR people for tomorrow. Mostly cause I think they'll all cancel.

I've only ever had sex with one client a day so if these four actually follow through I'm in trouble. They are such an odd bunch too.

1) Claims to be an 18 year old virgin. Uhuh. Will check ID just to make sure it's not statutory rape, but I doubt the virgin bit. I think it may be a common fantasy to pretend that but that's just gut feeling.

2) An Asian guy with bad written English who wants to bring me flowers and ends all of his emails with "cheese" when I think he means "cheers".

3) Older silver fox type guy who wants a golden shower on his face. I've not done that before and told him I may have performance anxiety but he offered a wad of extra cash so I'm going to drink my body weight in water and attempt to pee on him on my bathroom floor. Trying to not be judgemental but EWWWWW.

4) A guy who wants me overnight to actually have a V Day date. Awwwww.

3 comments:

  1. it's likely too late to do you any good... but i don't recommend golden showers on the bathroom floor. cleanup (from the inevitable spillage) is much easier if you do it in the tub. and really, anyone into this should be pretty used to that and not complain. if you wear shoes then they might also appreciate cleaning any up for you that might be on the sole of your shoes too. if you must do it on the floor, use a few towels. :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks tx-raven. Good advice. I also got an email from another gal who gave me a bunch of advice too. I was totally getting ready for Mr Silver Fox, Golden Shower - but he didn't confirm!! Gah!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. well sounds like you had a very busy and prosperous day anyhow!

    ReplyDelete