Wednesday, February 18, 2009

SplenDaddy Speculations

I'm back from my mini-break. Kinda a bit confused about whether I should continue with SplenDaddy or not... the balance between sex work and reallife is delicate and this scenario is messing up my dividing lines.

I'm going to list pros and cons and welcome any feedback. If someone could make the decision for me that would be nice. Ha.

Pro: Hot diggity dog sex. Some of the hottest I've had in a long time. I'm so cock hungry for his gorgeous member that I'd cut it off and spoon it if I could. Or shove it up a nostril, or in an ear, if it would fit. I cannot get enough of this guy in the bed.

Con: His wonderful cock is stuck to a somewhat passionless man. He sucks at warm up for sex - not very affectionate before foreplay starts and not even very affectionate after sex. Plus he's That Shower Guy from Sex in the City - the one that always has to shower after sex - urgently. In fact he spends more time in the bath room several times a day then anyone I've ever met. Even a call for kinky office sex in my lunch hour saw him folding his goddamn pants over a chair and lining up his shoes.

Pro: Always immaculately presented and wonderful smelling. Lack of affection maybe balanced out my sweet gestures like romantic getaway location (a honeymooners place last night!!) and nice emails.

Con: There is no money in this for me.

Pro: There are great escapes from real life and wonderful suspensions of decision making as well as forcible removal from phones and laptops and the net etc. I feel at peace after a trip away (well, when I'm not analysing the fuck out of it)

Con: He snores. And it's hardly nice to have to stick a finger in an ear to try and sleep.

Pro: He snores but I'm in a luxury bed in a gorgeous location all fulfilled after sex, fine food, lovely drinks and more sex.

Con: The more sex we have the more my oxytocin is going to kick in, the more cuddling I will want and the more this faux-intimacy may start to remind me of what I'm missing by being single and it might blow the cap on my "I don't want a relationship" vibe and I will all of a sudden be obsessed with finding a lover to hold me and love me. Blurgh.

Pro: Thinking about him is at least stopping me from dating before I'm ready after a fucked up break up. The small bits of intimacy may hold me over until my heart is healed and I can dump him, reconsider the sex work and then put my self on the market.

Con. He's kinda dull and our conversations are boring and I'm looking over my shoulder at dinner for some excitement.

Pro: That cock. In me. His soft lips. On me.


  1. I think you should ask yourself what the core reasons you got into having sex with men you wouldn't otherwise are. The big one is money, right? Not getting that.

    And what are things that you wanted to avoid while sleeping with men you otherwise wouldn't? Getting attached, letting it compromise your reallife, so on.

    My vote is you probably ought to call it off. It seems like it isn't accomplishing most of your original goals and it's got some complicating factors for your reallife, especially since he knows all your realinfo.

    Let us know what you decide!

  2. If he's an escape, and is going to help heal your heart, by all means, continue. At least his lack of passion and his being dull will keep you distanced from him, so when you are ready, breaking it off with him won't be too hard. In the meantime, you get great sex from a clean guy... that's more than most girls are getting! ;)

  3. I feel like you might want to think about ending it. Even if the sex is good.... and trust me, I've been one to do things I knew I shouldn't for good sex... feelings of intimacy and wanting someone right after a bad breakup are never good. I just don't want you ending up in the arms of someone who is really unhealthy for you, all as a result of splendaddy's sexin'

  4. No Money:Agree
    if you can sleep with music.

    I would say that it’s been a nice get away from 'real' life for you but I think it sounds like the lines are getting blurry.

  5. I worry about you getting emotionally attached to a John. I mean, sex work means getting paid for the sex, not just enjoying the sex. If you want a lover/boyfriend, I don't think satisfying that need through your Johns is the best way to do it. I think when it comes to sex work, keeping one's emotions out of it is the best thing.

    Of course, I have absolutely no experience with sex work, so maybe I'm talking out of my ass.

  6. If you wouldn't be fucking him w/o some fringe benefit (which I'm assuming you wouldn't, based on his lackluster personality), then I wouldn't continue fucking him w/o money being involved.

    As lovely as this may be, it still blurs the lines between work and life. Since we don't live in a world filled with lots of Richard Gere and Julia Roberts, I'd pass on it unless you can reinstate cash payments into the equation.