Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Cock Breath and Superhero moments

Excuse me while I just shake my head in disbelief at what I've just done. The adrenalin is running from my body now, and so far there hasn't been any fallout from my day, but I know I'm still an idiot. Perhaps you'll think so too after this post.

I slept in really late today and had to race to my therapist appointment before dayjob (yes, I'm in therapy - but the funny thing is that it's not at all about sex work and anyway who isn't in therapy these days!). So I get there late, and am still wearing the tracksuit pants I slept in. Haven't shaved since I got back from the trip with SplenDaddy. The therapist asked about my trip - since I'd had to cancel an appointment and I'd lied to him and said I was away for realjob stuff. Amazing how well I lie now.

So I finally fall through the door at my day job - looking mighty scruffy and hoping no one notices. Then I get an email from Client #6. He's horny and wants a booking. But he's being a bit of a loser about it. Sold his car so can't get to my place, has friends over and can only meet during the day and he's *really horny* he says again and it has to be today, but first he has to walk to the bank to get some cash. Sigh. I have to remind myself that the money is what equalises us - that without it I wouldn't be returning his emails.

I know he's a harmless geek though, and one of the easiest and nicest clients I've had so I try and figure out the risks of going to see him for a half hour booking on my lunch break.

Now there is the sensible part of me that knows I'll be out of the office longer than an hour with driving time. My Sensible says I shouldn't risk the day job and should stay put. But I guess I'm bored and jonesing for a bit of excitement. And I won't lie. The money is what most of my co-workers earn in a day - and I'm going to be getting that for my lunch break.

So I take the risk. And then it all turns into a comedy of bumblefuckery. I'm like the clumsiest, daftest escort sometimes. As if Bridget Jones was a whore. Or Muriel from Muriel's Wedding.

I have to drive home first - to shave and get out of the tracksuit! So I drive home and pass my bosses house - and he was standing outside of it!! Waiting for a cab for a business meeting. Fuck. I invent a lie on the spot - will tell him I had to race home in my lunch hour to let my latest house guest in since he locked himself out. I put on a cheese eating, everything-is-okay grin as I get stuck in traffic about two metres from his face. But he seemed not to see me.

Get home, fly around like an idiot and shave and try and find some clothes that are okay. Most of my nice stuff is in the wash still after SplenDaddy trip. Double Fuck. Decide to go with cute pink lace knickers that don't match my black lace bra and hope the cuteness overcomes the non-matched outfit.

Go to leave then have a thought! Should take my tracksuit with me to change back into AFTER the client so that if my boss comes back to work I'm still in the same clothes!

Then drive to his house, hopping my brief glimpse at Goggle maps was enough. Take a wrong turn, can't find street signs and finally pull up! On time!

He's home alone but his house is a mess. Nice place if he'd clean it. He doesn't want small talk and it's straight into a blow job with me naked. He turns it into a 69. I ask if he wants to move on to actual penis in vagina but he's happy enough with the blow job to continue.

Then - he gets excited with no warning and kinda cums everywhere. Some in my mouth, some on my chest. He's a bit concerned. Asks if I'm okay. I laugh. Then his phone rings and I get the sense he wants me to leave but doesn't know how to say so. I ask if I should go so he can answer the call and he nods. Jump up and get in the car - 21 mins after I'd pulled up.

On the way back to work I was trying to clean the sheen of saliva and cum of my chest but hadn't bought tissues or wipes. Gah. I snuck into the elevator with my tracksuit and then into the office bathroom.

I saw someone from Accounts on the way and started trying to come up with a story as to why I was changing out of nice skirt and low cut top INTO a tracksuit at two pm but couldn't be bothered. Just smile my hey-things-are-normal smile. I start banging around in the work bathroom in a hurry to get changed - like Superman with his phone booth.

Race back to my desk and shove my skirt and top into my bag. Along with my second phone (it has the phone number TAPED to the back of it since it's my escort phone and I never remember the number and looks mega-dodgy). Shove the fifty dollar notes into my wallet and try and look composed.

Then I realise my breath smells slightly of cock - and I have nothing for it. That sends me into a fit of giggles.

An hour later my boss rang to check his messages. Asked me what had happened while he'd been at the business lunch.

"Nothing. Nothing at all," I reply.

4 comments:

  1. All the drama sounds exciting... Love your blog!

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  2. Ha ha, Bridget Jones as an escort - that's hilarious! Great writing.

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  3. If it makes you feel any better I took a final in college with dried cum on my chest... been there! :)

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  4. a few months ago i went to work reeking of cum after my hubby accidentally came in my hair and i didn't have time to wash my hair again. all i could manage was toweling it off and hoping i got it all!

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