Saturday, October 24, 2009

So you want to be an escort!

I've had a few similar Ask Curvy questions lately - about starting out as an escort. I've put off writing about it cause as much fun as I've had, and from everything I've learned, it's still not something I'd encourage people to go into unless they are really, really sure. I can't assess your mental state or personality traits to see if you are going to cope okay when you have that first freak out moment of "Oh my god, I just had sex for money!"

Please also remember that where I am, working as a single girl alone from a house, or visiting hotels and client's houses - it is all legal. No one can entrap me to give me a police record, or fine me, or argue that I'm not a fit and proper person to be around kids or whatever. I also don't have a relationship to put at risk. So the first bit of advice I would give is that you research the law where you are and find out exactly what you can and can't do, and what issues you would face if caught. Then look at your partner and kids and family situation. If you're okay with the possible consequences then that's a good, informed place to start!

This advice is also for girls wanting to work solo. I know nothing about brothel work or agencies!

You need to research like any other business idea. What's your market? Your prices? Your persona? What are other women and brothels offering around you? Ring a few phone numbers you find, or answer a few of the online ads as a curious client to find out prices and terminology and basically scope out your competition. Is there a gap in the market you could fill?

I kinda market myself as the middle-class escort. I'm not high end charging $600 plus an hour, but I'm certainly not even going to say hi to a client for less than $150 (and that at most gets you 30 mins. I've even charged that minimum for a ten minute fantasy). I target business men during the day, or tradesmen with some spare time. And of course anyone who likes BBW, but I draw the line at over fifty usually because I just don't want to go there. I only take bookings online. All of these restrictions mean I reject up to ninety percent of potential booking cause they want to talk on the phone, are too old, or want to negotiate too low on prices.

If you know your legal rights, and your market and persona are sorted, plus ideally you know how you'll advertise and where you'll work from then the next step is to try and find a mentor. Is there a call girl with an ad that you admire? Ask her for advice. She may be willing. Is there a sex workers outreach program around you? Or any kind of whore's association? Sign up if you can to scope out the scene.

If you can't find any one around you to help, you're going to have to tell at least one person in your life so you can organise some safety routines. Or you could try paying someone for the same service. Maybe someone to act as your safe call, maybe a driver, maybe a security guard. Or maybe it's your most trustworthy friend who is going to cover your ass. At a minimum have someone who will know where you are, with who, and when you are leaving. Ring them at the beginning and end and set up a plan if something goes wrong.

Maybe if you don't call them at the end then they wait a few mins and call you. And if no answer, or you say some sort of code word, they need to call the police. Have a story in place so that the cops don't judge you first up - at least until they've saved you. Get your friend to tell them you went home with someone from a bar or an online date and you're super worried because you've failed to call as arranged, or called and said something was wrong. Make the story good and scary so they'll go to your aid.

As part of your safety plan you should also be seeing clients only when drug free and sober, or you are asking for issues.

So I guess it boils down to knowing your legal rights and issues, a safety plan and a business plan. That's a good start.

Now you need to have a client plan. How are you going to fill the hour? It's too much if you just jump straight in. Try and relax them with a drink, or make them have a shower. Offer to shower with them. Massage them. Sex work is a bit of a art form - make them feel good but with minimum work for yourself or you'll burn out! At first you won't have a clue what you are doing but they will be just as nervous. Also think about your client boundaries. Kissing? Them going down on you? Spanking? Fantasties? Be very clear with what you will and won't do from the start.

That's about all I can think of for now but fire away with any questions, or jump in with your own experiences - I'm only one girl with some part time experience, on my own terms, outside of the "sex industry" as such so am still pretty naive myself!


Curvy Gal

Sunday, October 11, 2009

"Out" Sex Workers

Stupid timing, but just as I'm getting ready to wrap up the call girl stuff, at least for a while, I finally grew the balls to go and meet an "out" sex worker. As in - everyone knows her job, she declares it on her tax return, has appeared in newspaper articles and online with full name and does a lot of outreach stuff and advocacy to sex workers of all levels - including street workers.

She'd seemed pretty cool on the mailing list I've been lurking around on, and offered a room for rent if I wanted to do incalls at her place, now that I'm not doing them at mine. I saw her set up, and we had breakfast. Fifty bucks an hour to rent a room. Which made my mind churn - wouldn't it be great if I rented a studio apartment and then charged others fifty bucks an hour for rental and watched the dollars roll in. Ha. Nice way to afford a mortgage perhaps. Not just for sex workers, but folks having affairs would be a great target audience!

Perhaps cause I'm so closeted as a sex worker, I was a bit nervous and was a motor mouth over coffee, talking way too much. It really did seem we live in different worlds. She advertises in newspapers, takes phone calls and screens that way. I told her my system of face photos via online ads and email bookings only. She hadn't really considered online stuff, and she asked me if I'd had contact with any of the outreach programs for working girls before I'd made my mind up to start. I said no, cause the web site for those programs was crap, and I didn't really identify with the whole industry.

I told her I'd bought some books online, and got advice from gals that also work online as independent escorts with no contact with the rest of the industry and she was astounded that people would buy some of those books - like

It all struck me as a bit of culture clash - old school whoring vs new school whoring. Interesting, huh?

She did know all about the brothels in the city, all of the insider gossip, all of the who-is-who in the trade, but I wasn't as interested as I thought I'd be.

Though there was a funny moment when I'd told her I'd heard about a BBW only brothel. She looked me up and down and said, "Yes, but you'd be too thin to work there." I didn't know if I should be offended, or take it as a compliment!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

A quick laugh at statistics

I started tracking this blog a while back with Google Analytics. The idea was I'd get some good stats to show publishers if I ever decided to try and turn this into a book. Meh. I'm lazy. It hasn't happened. But I do get endlessly amused at what I can find out. Like - 127 visitors found me via search engines. Most using versions of the blog name. So far so boring. But wait. Someone found me who had originally googled "fetish acting like a dog". They visited twice. And then got so drawn in they read 18 pages of content on each visit.

I feel honored that I distracted someone, somewhere on the interwebs, who obviously had a mission in mind when googling - and then forgot about it while reading Curvy Gal. Ha.

I'm still not sure why those key words led to me however!

Ask Curvy

A while back I received an email from a male follower of the blog looking for advice. In a nutshell here is his question:

I'm in a wonderful relationship with a bigger woman, she is all I ever wanted and so much more, but no fairy tale is without issues,right? We decided we are doing the big "it" after hours and hours of mad phone sex and lots of nude pics. We are going to have sex. Which is a big thing for her because she has never been with any man other than her husband. Now she is a big girl and I want to make this first time special , because I really love her. Any tips for the sex or the relationship?

First thoughts were - huh, interesting. He mentions husband, so she is married I'm guessing and thus it's some kind of affair, or maybe she is in the process of moving on. And somewhere else in his original email he mentions a big age gap. I pass no judgement on any of that - how could I with my shenanigans?

To be honest, it was something else that sent alarm bells ringing. From his full email which has some more detail, I gather by the repeated use of "bigger woman/big girl" descriptions that the gal in question really has size issues herself that he is picking up on, and trying to fix, or at least, work with, cause he's in love.

Now I'm all for communicating about your deepest feelings and insecurities and stuff, but there is a limit. And I've heard from lots of men that have gone emotionally bankrupt trying to fill the neediness of a plus size woman who can't accept herself.

Sure, us zaftig girls got a shit deal from society. We've been judged, yelled at, teased, rejected and not represented in any mainstream way as being sexual beings. And for a bit of tough love I say boo hoo to all of that. It sucked growing up that way. It sucks now. But that is no excuse not to "handle your own scandal", as my friend Marina says.

Deal with your baggage and don't use it as an excuse to be broken and don't present yourself on the dating scene as having "Issues". That, more than your size, is probably what makes people run. And I am speaking from experience. I've been the big girl, and I've dated the big girl too. And slept with the big guys with their problems too.

So I would warn this guy that the issue is not his, but that he needs to let her know what he told me - he's aware of her concerns, he loves her, and he hopes she's getting the help that she needs - therapy or whatever - to come into the relationship as a complete person, and not a person that needs rescuing.

They are off to a good start. Phone sex is great. And swapping naked pics means that the girl should be *more confident* already that she's not going to be rejected cause this guy is still hanging in there interested.

When it comes down to the actual business of getting it on, my advice is the same as it would be to any new couple - make sure you know what each other likes, talk, ask, try different things, don't be drunk, don't rush it and don't act as if orgasm or even penetration is the end game. And for goodness sake, if you do love the woman, offer some spooning and at least a few words of conversation afterwards!

Monday, October 5, 2009

A Scary Story

Another thing I just wanted to's not at all funny and light-hearted like a lot of my client stories. A few weeks ago I decided to let a friend in on my secret double life. The moment felt right. She was totally cool with it, and knows other women doing the same thing. She did tell me a horrible thing though - last year a friend of hers was killed doing exactly what I'm doing.

I pressed for a few details and this girl was acting the same way I was. Middle class educated woman, working privately, using friends for safe calls, screening via the internet, same set up for ringing in and out of jobs, working same "safe" inner city suburbs as me. Her girlfriend was her safe call one day, and when she didn't ring out of a job the girlfriend tried to call her. Still no answer. Called the police who went to the address and found her body.

I wasn't going to post this cause I was worried it reinforces what everyone says about sex work - too dangerous, it'll all end in tears etc. But then I thought if I am writing about all of my great experiences I kinda owed it to readers not to paint it as too glossy and breezy either, especially since I know I have a lot of sex-worker-curious gals who are following this blog and considering working themselves.

Hello Readers!

Oh my, it's nice to be wanted. I've noticed some comments bemoaning my lack of posting, and I've had a few emails too. So I thought I'd better pop back in here and update you all on what is going on!

Well...there have been some pretty massive changes in my personal life is the short version. I haven't blogged about it cause it's not related to the sex work. Well, it sort of is, but I still don't want to shout it from the rooftops via a public blog.

It's all very exciting, but it does mean that I'm pretty much done with the escort hobby. Could just be for a few months, could be forever. At this stage I really don't know, since my life is about to change so much.

I'm happy to share a bit more detail if you email me at as long as you tell me a tiny bit about yourself so I know who I'm gossiping with!

That leaves me with thinking about what to do with this blog. I have a couple of questions from readers that I'll blog about soon - some Ask Curvy advice.

After that I could make the blog private and limit it all to just whoever reads now, and thus reveal more personal stuff. But I'm leaning toward leaving it open for anyone to find and read in the future which means I won't really have too much to blog about over the upcoming no sex work months/years/whatever.

Another idea I had was to try and find other contributors. Are there any other plus size sex workers with a fun style of writing? Maybe there could be another Curvy Gal who fills in with some stories for you. It would be a shame to let the blog die.

Over to you for ideas - what kind of stuff would make you keep reading? Do you like the idea of another Curvy Gal if I can find one? Or even just a series of guest posts from other sex workers perhaps telling their funniest client stories?

Sunday, August 30, 2009


So the cute IT boy who has become my longest regular - we finally had sex. Almost an entire year of conversation and blow jobs and this past weekend he asked me "to jump on and ride". I'd started to wonder if he was a virgin.

What would a therapist say?

Maybe I secretly want to get sprung by my family. Or maybe I just am a forgetful fool some days. I was up at oh-my-god o'clock and checked my email on a Saturday morning to see a regular client wanted me ASAP. So I was at his house with my mouth around his cock by eight am.

Then off for the day to see my mother. And despite reminding myself not to forget the little packets of lube and condom varieties in my jeans pocket I didn't take them out - and they jumped free while I was getting my car keys out with her. She didn't comment, and I didn't say anything.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Bingo Wings

So I just love this film clip - a song about big girls! There is only a tiny bit online for free but I think it's funny and pretty positive.

And if you want to know how it ends - well the hot guy pushes aside the skinny girls and goes for the big, gorgeous blonde gal. And as we say, it fades to black with them "pashing on."

Thursday, August 13, 2009


My last online ad has been a total bust. No bookings. Only one guy who was even a possibility and he didn't fit the four beers or less rule, so I nixed him. I seem to have run into a stream of fuckwits.

The replies started off with a one line enquiry, "Does the BBW girl do natural sex?"

I wrote back "No." I was at least amused by the third person usage.

Two hours later another email that started off okay and when it came to the confirmation there was the sly "I don't do sex with condoms."

I was mad enough to give him a bit of a lecture in return.

Next email was from someone who had an issue with my requirement for a face pic. He wrote a condescending email telling me, "Sorry to have to break this to you, but no man will send you a face pic just to get a bit of fun time with you."

I replied with a snarky, "Yes, they will, and they do. I am the only BBW working in my area and if you want to see me you follow my rules, or you don't see me. So the choice is yours - a face pic, or no booking is possible."

That got rid of him.

The last email of the day was a cute guy who sent a photo of himself and some girl who looked like his wife. Then he requested condom free sex, saying he loved the feel of cuming inside.

I lost the plot, told him he was crazy, risking his wife, me, himself, other partners and generally being an all round douchebag to not think through the consequences.

He replied with, "Well, she's not my wife. If I had a wife I wouldn't need to pay for sex now, would I?"

My answer, "Actually 80% of my clients are married." I love it that these clients reckon they know all about my business!

He needed the last word. "Well, there you go then."

Ha! Can't admit he's wrong, but couldn't let me end the conversation so wimps out with the pouty retort.

It's weeks like this I'm glad I'm not relying on sex work money to pay my rent!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Musing about fuck buddies etc

It never ceases to amaze me just how much variety there is out there in the world of love, friendship, fucking and the rest of it!

About a year ago, just after I'd started whoring, I ran an ad to find some photographers to take some photos for me - kinky, classy, naked, sexy...a whole mix. I didn't tell them I was wanting them to use for paid sex work cause I knew they'd charge a fortune. Instead I offered a kinda quid pro quo making it into a bit of a scene/fantasy with potential for all sorts of fun in return for copyright and professional work.

I booked a penthouse suite, organised three different photographers and had the wildest weekend. One was strictly professional - didn't even seem turned on, just wanted practice with nude models. Some nice arty shots there that really made me see the beauty of a BBW through someone else's eyes. Another was an old guy who kinda enjoyed the kink of a young curvy model rolling around naked but knew I didn't want him to touch me cause the age difference was simply too much.

Third guy was an ex-baseballer turned fashion photographer (for realz) and game for some play. Ended up an amazing photo shoot and then some of the kinkiest, hottest sex. Mmmm..

I've seen him a couple of times over the year since but the sex has been vanilla. He's much too turned on by the idea of me, and kink, and when he arrives we don't actually follow through on our ideas cause he's too quick to fall back on basic sex stuff just to get off. It was getting a bit frustrating really since I rated him only average in bed, and average in looks - and all a bit of a let down from the first time.

Until Friday. He had a spare afternoon, I'd gone home from dayjob early and found an email from him saying he was at a bit of a loose end.

Oh my...he'd got fat, a real case of broad-shouldered, ex-sports star turning to solid beer drinking probably. And he'd grown a beard. He looked like a "man's man" I guess you'd say. Reminded me of an Alaskan fisherman type look. Rugged. Masculine.

Not ever a look I thought I'd be hot for, but given I've mostly slept with geeks, nerds, younger men or corporate types, it suddenly dawned on me how much I did want a grizzly bear in bed, love handles, back hair, beard, grunting and all.

Since we're pretty comfortable in bed these days the conversation flowed, I asked him for what I wanted and we went at it. It was great, and fun, and lighthearted but also very, very hot when I squinted and imagined my Alaskan fantasy. There really is a lot going for a big solid guy I think.

Of course afterwards he ruined it all by talking too much. I'd forgotten that part of the deal. He is a boring, crappy, repetitive, storyteller, obsessed with his own good self and adventures.

I should have warned him the only stories I wanted were about trawlers and big catches and perfect storms.

Made me realise how lucky I am that I can enjoy some time with him, not be married to him, not even be in love with him. For if I was forced to sit across the dinner table with him night after night I'd surely stab myself in the thigh with my fork - just to relieve the boredom.

Friday, July 31, 2009


Goddamn some men are long distance shooters. Cum hit my laptop beside the bed! Eeek.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Now Dad gets involved in my business.

So it turns out the fastest runner in the world is not Speedy Gonzales, but Curvy Girl who was seconds away from being outed as a sex worker to her father through her own stupidity and sheer dumb luck.

Dad came to stay the night. In my house I had a very hot piece of paper - the annual renewal for the Sex Workers Union. I had been moving the renewal notice around the house for several days. One day moving it so the cleaner wouldn't see it. One day moving it so it didn't end up in my paperwork to take to realjob. One day moving it so some of my friends wouldn't see it. Why I didn't just pay it and be done with it I don't know.

Knowing Dad was on his way I thought I'd shove it between two books on the bookcase cause I knew he might poke around in piles of paper and junk.

All well and good until from across the room Dad goes, " have Matthew Reilly books. I love Contest. Such a great read."

THEN he walks across the room to pick up said book. It was one of the two books I'd put the dreaded bit of paper between! I nearly had a heart attack. What are the odds that out of nine different shelf spaces for books he would manage such a feat?

I raced over and practically fell on top of him, grabbing another random book and shouting, "Well, you'd love this one then..."

When he turned in surprise to look at the other book I grabbed the piece of paper - red logo facing outwards I noticed, and ran into another room, shoving it deep under some random clothes.

I returned to see him calmly place Contest back on the shelf and then wander off to get a beer. Most likely thinking I was slightly mad.

Want to know why this close call was especially awkward??

My 62 year old father had just admitted that he was seeing a girl in the room next to him in his boarding house. An alcoholic, ex street-walker prostitute fallen on hard times- who also happened to be my age.

This morning after putting him on a train home I am disturbed and amused on several levels. Family eh?

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Client # 18: When your mother gets involved in your sex work!

Alright kiddies - I'm back and feeling good. Which means...yes...I have a new client story for you. Yay.

I kind of got the gig by accident. I wasn't quite sure I was going to take the booking - photo was hot, everything seemed totally fine but it was a lovely Friday night and I was lounging around at home thinking of a wonderful free weekend. He wanted a booking early next morning!

I was tossing up whether I'd want to set an alarm to get out of bed when he confirmed he'd already booked the hotel. A little bit of premature excitement on his behalf. So I decided - what the hell...I just warned him I was totally turning up in "Saturday morning" clothes of cargo pants and a t-shirt. No way was I going to walk into some hotel in any kind of hooker-ware at that time of day!

I had to call him from the car park for the room number and he had to meet me in the lobby since it was a security lift. I hate that! Not being able to go up the room without meeting downstairs in an awkward manner. Even more surreal when he calls out my working girl name as he walks across the tiles and I realised I really, really need to change it. It's too out there and not realistic. Especially when one is wearing sneakers and no makeup at 9.30am in the suburbs on the weekend *and* has the complimentary weekend papers from the front desk stashed under one arm - hey, I never turn down anything free in a hotel!

We started off the way I normally do - there is an envelope and I count the money while making small talk. I hadn't organised a safety call to Bell cause it was all last minute by my gut feeling was fine. In fact, he's probably another guy I'd actually date in the real world. Lately I've had a string of young single guys who are all the perfect guy for some lucky girl.

Then we started kissing. And my phone rings. I jump at the chance to pretend that it's my safety call after all to confirm the start of our booking - thinking, whew, saved by a random caller. But I pick up and answer too quickly before realising - it was my MOTHER!!!!!

Oh dear god. My client is standing at the edge of the king bed which takes up most of the lovely, but small hotel room. I'm only metres away chatting away to my mother while he tries not to laugh. She wanted to know what I was up to on such a gorgeous weekend morning.

"Um.....having breakfast with friends actually..."

Before she can ask which friends, or even ask to speak to them or something horrendous I head her off with a quick "So, I shouldn't be rude and talk on the phone I guess. I'll call you after the baby shower I'm going to this afternoon."

Client hears this and enquires about my day - so I tell him about the friend's baby shower since I was stupid enough to blab about my real life. And we launch into this conversation about friends and family and his nieces and such and really our booking becomes very warm and friendly and I start to enjoy myself.

We take off our clothes, return to the kissing and fall into bed together. He's quite talented it turns out.

Then I realise..this really *is* the way a Saturday morning should be spent!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Silly Gal

Oh dear. I am an idiot. Am banging head against wall as we speak. No, really I lie. I'm in pyjamas eating ice cream and watching crap TV from my bed. I just turned down a well paid booking with a very good looking young guy who is about a half hour drive away.

No real reason except for some irrational desire not to wipe out any last traces of Mr Married. Like, oh, his lips were the last to touch mine, his penis the last one I had inside me.

Doh. Another spoon of icecream into my mouth.

Like Mr Married isn't already back home shagging his wife, or having some play in his own sex work. Or even at a prostitute himself - cause I know he has used them. You can bet if he is being careful there is no trace of me in his life - emails, photos, anything! And I'm certain no physical evidence. I was careful not to mark him.

Pity he has marked me in some strange way.

I need some more icecream - and perhaps as we say around my place, "a teaspoon full of cement". To harden the fuck up ;-)

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

A Few Tears, some Introspection

I'll admit right now that I'm in a pretty emotional frame of mind - hormones are going crazy on me at the moment. Still, I was surprised that the day after Mr Married left I cried on and off for HOURS. Longer, most likely, that the entire time his penis had ever been inside me.

Part of it was unrelated- I'm packing my suitcase to go back home, but I really love the spot I have vacationed in for the last three weeks and wish somehow I could live here. So there's that. Plus I don't want to go back to my dayjob. I am growing to hate it. But I don't think I could pull of the paid sex work full time and not have to work. So all of that is piling up as I sort through my books deciding which ones will fit under the baggage limit for international flights.

On a positive note, it is refreshing that I can still act like a stupid love stuck teenager and totally feel something for someone - being a whore hasn't really destroyed anything inside me. I'm not some dead-eyed-Hollywood version of a used up callgirl who is unseeing or unfeeling. Ha.

In between the tears I considered my situation. The tears weren't really for Mr Married. I mean if he turned around and said, right, it's you and me ( and kids) I don't think I'd be up for it. Rather the tears are showing me I need to go back on the dating scene. I need to be open to feeling something for someone I can have! But I have no idea how to approach this. Maybe you can all give me ideas - where on earth will I find any potential dates?

Here are the issues:

1) Male or female dates - I'm not fussy. But they have to be cool with the fact I've experienced both without getting their knickers in a knot. I could care less how they identify themselves.

2) Ideally they are okay with the sex work and my past adventures. I am willing not to do sex work while in a relationship if needed but I really don't want to pretend it never happened. And the fact that I have admitted to sleeping with married folk can't make them run screaming.

3) Monogamy is a issue. I believe it is possible with a lot of hard work. But I'm not really too fussed on the idea for either myself or my partner. I don't believe monogamy is how you show someone you love them or not, so need a relationship that considers some sort of outlet - polyamory perhaps, even just plain ol' swinging or an open relationship.

4) The whole size thing. I'm never going to be a size zero and I want someone who could care less. I don't want someone who it's a fetish thing for though.

5) Don't like animals or kids? Then move along, nothing to see's a not negotiable. And if you SLEEP with animals or kids, well then I'm sorry that's one kink too far ;-)

On the other side of the equation at least I'm open minded!! My date or partner could be single, divorced or already in some open or poly relationship and could be any race, size, gender and with or without kids, pets and material possessions. Any age from say late twenties to early forties is my best guess. And if there is "baggage" in their past too - cheating, sex work, whatever...I not one to discount them..obviously!

Oh, and if we are going for the ideal person - it's a non-smoker who is funny and smart.

So what do I do? Write up some sort of honest profile for a dating site (errr...BBW sex worker seeks...) or play it all cool and just reveal all of this stuff in tiny portions as I go along dating someone? Where would I even put such a profile? I mean, sure, I might get myself a Best-of-Craigslist nomination if I wrote this in a funny way...

Alright, step to it matchmakers. I'll consider anyone from any part of the world ;-)


Curvy Girl.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Heart over Head

So after my great justification of why I couldn't see Mr Married with his child ...well..I don't know if he's reading this blog or what but after my last entry he suggested we head out in public for the morning and catch up first - no sex, no pressure.

I went along with the whole idea as a great way to figure out if I really did want to sleep with him and figure out what exactly I wanted from the whole encounter, and how I felt about having to see his wife's baby.

While justifying this as a good compromise and feeling all smug and high and mighty of course I'm shaving my legs, trimming my girl bits and tidying my holiday apartment. Uh huh. I'm so transparent.

In the end we spent three hours having lunch and exploring the local area and the parks and Mr Married morphed into the ideal lover - as if he was indeed Mr Married To Curvy Girl. Affection in public, sweet kisses and whispered nothings. Actually that is the one thing my paid work doesn't give me and the one thing I do crave. And if he was acting or not, I didn't really care cause he was darn convincing.

I decided we'd play happy families for the day. I'm sure there were other married men kicking their wives with babies as they walked past us on our picnic blankets cause to the rest of the world we just looked like a very cute family in love and lust even with a tiny new kid on the scene. If only they knew!

We walked home hand-in-hand with the babe in the stroller. There was no question in my mind - we were going to bed. It was tricky with a kid who really did demand attention and feeding and entertainment and all of that baby stuff but by then my happy family hormones were flying so high I was happy to cradle her in my arms naked while kissing her father.

We "made love" while the baby gurgled with happiness and I really did not at all feel guilty. For something that is not at all justifiable it felt so amazing and natural and very Blue Lagoon - two naked adults in bed spooning a baby between them.

You know what I really wish - I could find this kind of situation where the wife knew and approved. I'd totally be happy being some kind of "Second Wife" and sharing him, having him a few nights a week. It would be ideal cause the other secret he is keeping from his wife, but not me, is that he too is doing sex work now. So in my ideal world we could be each other's refuge from the paid stuff, while he did all the domestic stuff with First Wife, and I just got the passion and spooning, being free to still do my own thing too. LOL.

Yeah, dream on Curvy Girl. I'm probably going to rot in hell for this behaviour. Well, not that I believe in hell, but you know what I mean!

Friday, June 26, 2009

Ask Curvy

So someone in the comment asked what girls like for sex if it's not jackhammer behaviour....I thought I'd throw it over to you dear readers to help out the men folk of the blog!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Consequences of Sex Work

Oh drat and darn it. I really can't just do casual sex anymore! I know I've mentioned it before but it's got a little bit worse - I can't even do the "passionate mistress" role anymore. I'm getting too good at faking stuff in the bedroom, and pleasing others and letting them think whatever they like regardless of truth. And with a bit of reflection it's become obvious to me that even the men I had been sleeping with on a casual basis were probably doing the same thing. Pretending whatever it is they thought I wanted, just to get a shag!

A case study. This guy that I had one of the hottest affairs of my life with last year...just before I started the paid work...well I'm back in his part of the world. Now we've kept in touch for an entire year - chatty emails, sexy emails, funny emails, boring emails about our families. At one stage I was prepared to fly to stay near him for a few weeks while he split his time between his wife and me. Oh, I know...all so shady. Yes, I used to sleep with married men even before money came into it. I called it off cause I was in danger of falling for him.

Anyhow, it all faded until I discovered I really would be back in his state. I was all up for a continued affair on a more controlled basis - only a few days so I wouldn't fall for him...but an affair that was to including the laughing, spooning, connection stuff that made us more than just a quick fuck in the first place. The Holy Grail of passionate-oh-why-can't-this-last-forever-hunger-for-another.

Except...his life has changed and now he wanted to come and hang around with me during the day *with his baby*. Ouch. Way to remind a girl she's the mistress. Bring your own flesh and blood to hang out with us. What was I going to pretend families? I'll admit, I'm kid crazy so I said I'd love to meet his child, but it would mean no sex...the thought of me as the other woman touching his wife's baby was just a bit too much for me! But we could meet for a coffee and catch up.

Well that idea didn't go down well. My first true sign that no matter how I rationalise our connection and time together, for him it's just sex. If it was more than sex he'd be glad to at least chat over drinks. And let's be honest. If he'd proved he was at all a little interested in just the chatting date I bet I would have melted on sight anyhow and he would have got lucky. I guess it was kind of a test to see how much he wanted the whole person that is me.

His solution...he'll make up excuses for his wife and come over for a quick visit at night instead. That was the final straw for me. At most that would mean what, one or two hours together? What a stinging blow. After a year apart and a ten hour flight our long-lusted-after affair would come down to nothing more than the same thing I give paid clients - an hour or so of the girlfriend experience???

No thanks.

Sigh. Looks like there is no middle ground for me. I'm going to have to find myself a single, available person to date and really fall for and connect with - with a view to a relationship, OR I'm going to just have to have my paid clients. None of this pseudo inbetween stuff.

Client #17 - Foot Fetish

Another client who responded to my new ridiculous high rates. He booked, sent a photo, confirmed on time. All things that mean someone is serious. Told me he had a foot fetish and requested me get a pedicure on the day of the booking.

I turned up in nice strappy shoes, expecting my feet to be the sole focus of our appointment, but boy was I wrong. I'll even admit to being a little disappointed. I was hoping to just lay back while he worshipped. But this was a client who was totally going to get his girlfriend experience. We started off with lots of kissing - slow, lover-style kissing. And I gotta say..when you are launched into this minutes after meeting someone its kinda awkward. My mind was thinking..... hmmm, he's not a bad kisser and just kinda going with it. My body was all like "What the FUCK - who is this idiot who is acting like he's in love with you?" It is much easier if clients don't like to kiss cause at least you can keep your distance! Or if there is some getting to know you stuff first.

Then it was into the shower for a romantic shower for two. Then in a break from what I'd been expecting it became very energetic fucking in odd positions in bed. I was annoyed. Sure he'd looked at my feet and kissed them and placed them on his penis for a minute, but the jack rabbit behaviour is so boring.

I hope you are listening male readers of this blog - do not act like a humping dog on speed. Fast, shallow, repetitive penetration really does nothing for most girls. At the very least you should have a girl totally wet and turned on and close to orgasm before trying this. And turning her over and over into a gazillion positions to repeat the hammering is also not that hot by itself. I have at times enjoyed it - but usually if it's part of a bit of role play or with a bit of arse slapping or something extra thrown in where I'm getting some turn on factor from being submissive or used.

Anyway, I went with it but had to try not to laugh when at one point he asked me if I'd orgasmed. I mean HELLO. How do you get to be the sensual type of guy with great kissing and coupled up shower skills, but clueless bout the cause of orgasms?! Namely...consistent stimulation of the clit.

So I put on a show for him, orgasmed and then he did and then we fell into spooning and more true GFE behaviour - kissing after sex, stroking. Again, would have been great if I'd liked the guy. But I didn't even know him.

Then in the topsy-turvy world of callgirls, I *did* get to know him. We spent half an hour chatting. And he was a fascinating guy. I really clicked with him. I was almost late calling Bell - five minutes more and she would have called the cops. Ooops. All because we were chatting! In another life I would have seen us as friends. He felt something even more though and asked me out - not as a call girl, but to date. He's single and wanting to settle down and loved a bunch of different things about me - above and beyond the breasts and such he swore.

Of course I'm not silly enough to date a client so I gave him an option - continue to pay me as an escort OR try friendship but it means he never touches me again. To my surprise he picked friendship.

I think it was heat of the moment though that I even gave him the choice. He doesn't even know my real name for goodness sake - how does a friendship spring from that? I've never given that option to anyone before and I've thought better of it - I've taken back my choice - he can pay if he wants to see me.

Sunday, June 21, 2009


So I had a client who requested me have freshly pedicured feet. I'd been meaning to get a pedicure for a while so was happy to oblige. I realised when I got to the salon I should have asked him for a colour recommendation - how to pick a colour to make him happy, or at least not offend?

I went for a pearly pale colour that changed with the light.

The salon owner who did my feet complimented me. He'd dragged out the razor to give all the dead skin a trim, only to find I had hardly any.

"Your feet are beautiful," he said.

Little did he know that in a few hours time, after paying him $35 for the pedicure, I'd be getting exactly ten times that amount to have another man say exactly the same thing to me.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Woot - An Award of Sorts

I got the "Brilliant" Nod from The Toy over at Wanted: Perfect Screw for my post on the Email War.

Check it out, and his blog, here:

Monday, June 8, 2009

Client #16 - a boy to break your heart

I have finally seen a new client! After I put my latest ad up I wasn't sure if I wanted to actually take any bookings or if I was just mucking around. So I took the passive aggressive way out and replied with such inflated rates and strict requirements I thought I'd get no takers. Instead, a gorgeous, young, polite boy replied and booked me for two hours! A combination of the stupid amount of money, plus his great photo and writing and I was super keen to see him.

He'd requested me dress in business attire ,and since I felt like giving him the time of his life I actually went out to the sales and bought a black skirt and ruffled, stripped business shirt. It was great fun buying corporate wear after so long out of a corporate office. Quite funny that my wardrobe is totally casual - except for the sexy costumes and fetish wear I use with clients. Nothing in between. I admit it did give me a bit of thrill too - knowing I'd be wearing it later that night in my "double life" as such. The day just seems to have so much more spark to it when I'm about to visit someone.

I was a little nervous about visiting him at home, since he was way, way, deep in the suburbs. But I gave Bell all of his info, even his photo, and did the usual safety stuff like insisting on seeing every room of his house before we exchanged money etc etc - there were no football players hiding in cupboards or anything. Whew.

Now...onto the details. The boy was tall. 22 years old. Geeky. Overweight - a BHM I guess you'd say. But since I quite like my guys cuddly I thought he was near perfect. Dark horn-rimmed glasses and a passion for sci-fi? Jackpot.

The trouble was though he was just too nervous. And self-conscious about his weight, and lack of experience. It reminded me of myself at a similar age. I tried my very best to be sexy and reassuring, and take the lead - but it was just terrible. You know how when two people with Tourettes get together they can make each other's ticks and cussing worse? Well, two fat, sci fi geeks together just seemed to throw me back to his age and I lost a lot of my sexual vibe. I tried and tried and tried to get him to relax and open up. In the end I did convince him to masturbate so he would cum. And I masturbated for him.

Then we fell into conversation. And he revealed probably far too much for his own comfort. Lack of girlfriends, lack of experience, lack of confidence, suicide attempts, despair at the stupidity of the world. I thought he had a marvellously black sense of humour and suspect he is super, super smart. I just held him at let him talk. In return I revealed far too much about my awkward young adult years too - very similar stories, minus the suicide attempts for me.

I think the similarities are what is making him so hard to forget. His loneliness and isolation. I tried to just spoon with him and stroke him and say all of the things I wish I could have said to a younger self. That life gets better, that everybody is lovable no matter their shape, and that it will work out in the end. It was just heart wrenching.

After more talking than sex, he let me go a little early so I would make it home before it was too late at night. And he walked me to my car and kissed me at the door to make sure I left safely since it was a slightly seedy neighbourhood. So thoughtful - I just know he's a perfect match for some lovely, chubby, girl somewhere.

Four days later and I'm still mulling over the experience. Even sent him a quick email reinforcing some of the stuff I'd said, including that I was glad he hadn't succeeded in the the suicide attempt, for the world would be a poorer place without him. He replied thanking me for being so kind.

I take a couple of life lessons from it all. The main one being that unless you can convince your self you're okay, then you won't be. It's totally perception and no one can change it for you. I've also learnt that men suffer just as much as women with the whole size and body issue thing. And it's no less painful to be an overweight guy than a fat girl. That was eye-opening.

Oh...and I also figure there is some truth in the stereotype of the whore with the heart of gold. This guy really did affect me, and I truly hope I've helped him at least a little - even if it was just a few hours of comfort on a cold Friday night.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Email war

So in response to my latest ad I had a guy who was doing everything right - polite email, sent a face pic etc. I decided he fell way out of my four beers or less rule so I didn't reply. I just thought I didn't need to explain myself so I would just go silent. People do that to me all of the time and I'm sick of being super, super polite and explaining myself to everyone who can tap a keyboard.

A few days later he sent me the dreaded "cock shot". It was massive. Beyond almost anything I'd seen. And his only comment was, "Have you ever played with anything this big?"

I thought I'd take a dignified silence again, not wanting to feed his ego about the impressive penis. Actually, it looked so big I think it would be a hindrance in most sex acts!

Then I decided that if I was silent he may interpret that as being in awe of his cock. And I wanted to take him down a peg or two. After all, how stupid is someone to send a photo of their bits to a whore? Yawn.

My reply (and yes, I lied):

Yes I have played with something that big. And sending a cock shot to a working girl doesn't really provide much in the way of interest or excitement anyhow. Would a mechanic get turned on by getting a photo of an engine that needs work? Hardly. We're a service profession - not some casual encounters section. And even in an unpaid hookup I doubt you'll have much luck if the best thing you can offer is a big dick. I'm not sure if you've figured out yet that size really isn't everything but let me assure you it's true!

Best of luck to you and your penis.

I haven't had an email back to I'm going to take that as Curvy Girl - 1, Well Hung Moron - 0!

Monday, June 1, 2009

International Whore's Day

It's International Whore's Day on June 2, or so I've heard. So love a whore today!!


#6 Again

So I actually went through with a booking. Yay. With #6 again - shy IT dude. I've seen him three times now I think and every now and then swap an email. Totally no hassle client. Still trying to work out why he doesn't have a girlfriend and I'm wondering if there is some issue with penetration in sex? For every time I see him it tends to just be kissing, touching, maybe a bit of oral sex and nothing else. Such a shame cause he really does have one of those great "growing" penii that goes from nothing to lovely and thick and hard and would be fun to fuck.

Or maybe he is lying (as House says, "Everybody lies") and he does have a girlfriend who just isn't into oral stuff? Mmmm...

It was only a half hour booking with a fair amount of chatting again - true GFE. It was in the middle of the day and I was early so I curled up barefoot in a park near his house reading a book for a while first, enjoying lunchtime sun. Not a bad way to earn a living when my half hour rate equals more than the minimum daily wage rate in my country. I'm so comfortable with him now that he pays at the end of the session too now rather than upfront.

I guess that's the rub through with this line of work (pun intended) - getting enough clients to have at least one half hour booking a day! Not exactly a great idea for full time work methinks.

Well I'm kinda ambivalent about getting back on the horse in the end. It was fun to see a client after a few months off -I had an orgasm, the extra pocket money was good, but not sure yet if I want to see new clients.

I did turn down an overnight booking on the weekend. I think I just wasn't motivated enough to bother with being a companion to someone in public and have dinner and all of that - he looked like he may lack social skills and that is not a good thing to have to cope with in a restaurant. Much easier to fuck'n'go sometimes!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009


A quick story I thought I'd share with you..

One of the clients I contacted is the guy I met in a hotel for ten minutes of boob play - and walking out of his hotel I fell and did my ankle. I thought at the time he was super hot. So hot and fun I was at a bit of a loss to why he was paying for ten minutes with me when he could have had so much more - and for free lol.

It turns out that I'm no longer suitable for him. He's on a quest to find even bigger breasts to play with and titty fuck, and as awesome as mine were, they are no longer enough, he says.

I was shocked. No one has ever thought my F cup plus breasts too small! Then I had a bit of a giggle. It's nice to know I'm the benchmark standard for his new search - he is yet to find bigger.

I also thought it a cautionary tale for anyone thinking of actually dating a fetishist or maybe one of the "BBW-only" boys we mentioned a few posts ago. Being totally defined by a physical attribute means you're sure to get rejected if you change - or they want more!

Has anyone dated a true fetishist? I'm thinking it would involve lots of negotiation to work. Say with Mr Boobs here - you could marry him but you'd have to allow him to wander off to search to fulfill his fetish otherwise I doubt he'd stay in the relationship. Either that or he'd lie. I wonder how many people have married guys with obsessions and just never knew what they *really* wanted? Has anyone got any stories to share?

Never say die?

Oh dear. Just after I tell you all I'm ready to quit I start to wonder. See I finally did join the whore's union I was telling you about ages ago. And it took them a while to process the application and then my handwriting was messy and they called me to get my details!

I was at dayjob so was very quick to say I couldn't talk. So we had an email conversation - lovely admin guy and officially the first ever other sex worker I've spoken to in person who also knows I'm a sex worker. I was a bit freaked out, like maybe a scarlet letter was going to appear mid-forehead and mark me forever to the general public. Nothing like that happened of course, and now I'm on the mailing list.

Reading the list made me miss the excitement so...I emailed a couple of my old clients who I thought I could see again. And if all goes well I have a booking tomorrow! The good news is I have firm opinions of which clients I don't want anything to do with and which ones I'd see again - so far the new, higher standards are holding!

I also placed a new ad with all my new rules - extra money, no incalls and the like and I've got a few potentials lined up. Not sure if I want new clients yet, but if I do enjoy work tomorrow then maybe I'll get back into it...."real life" is just so freaking dull sometimes you know!?

Monday, May 25, 2009

Ask Curvy

So...a fellow curvy girl has written to me and asked if I had any opinions on the following topic:

Society basically tells us that people (particularly women) of a certain size aren't supposed to be having sex at all, aren't sexy, and so enticing someone to do/believe just that carries a bit of baggage as well. Having the "confidence" that every sex manual prescribes seems silly without the means to combat all the societal (and internal) negativity..what do you think?

Well I would say that you are bang on the money! I had a completely sexless high school and ended up in a relationship for five years with almost the first person I kissed in college. And until I was in that relationship I'd never done a single thing sober - even kissing! And not even much of it with people I'd fancied. Just those that happened to be there when I was drunk enough not to care what people thought of my weight.

Then after that relationship I thought the solution was to get skinny so I lost over 50 pounds and was an absolute twat for a lot of my twenties - egotistical, over the top confident, god's gift to the world. Cause, you know, I was thin and people hit on me. Then the weight came back and I was back to square one.

It wasn't until I started exploring the online world that I first stumbled onto those men that loved a BBW woman. And from there I figured out how much they'd PAY for the right curvy gal. It totally blew my mind. This was a very odd way though to find my mojo, so I'm going to give you some hints that may help you find yours without resorting to casual sex with online dudes ;-)

Some suggestions to find your sexy self

1) Re-examine your life, not looking at the rejections or negative dating/sex things, but the positive. I bet you'd forgotten about some of the opportunities that came your way!

I spend a good few hours going through my memories and pulled out a few surprising things I'd buried. Like the hot, popular guy at school who dated a really big gal. They broke up and we had a bit of a flirt thing going, but I changed schools. I filed it under "was never going to happen" and in hindsight realise he was probably the holy grail. A normal guy who loved big chicks! Doh. If only I'd filed it under "would have happened if I'd stuck around and is PROOF people find me attractive no matter my size." That may have changed my attitude toward so many things.

Then there was the girl who put her hand on my thigh suggestively under the table at the local pub. I filed that as "probably doesn't realise it is me" rather than "She's sending me a pretty clear signal."

And the boy who took me for a walk by the waterfront at seventeen and we sat next to each other talking for hours about the usual angsty things and I just thought I was playing the role of "fat girl friend easy to talk to" when probably I could have reached out and taken his hand and I bet not got rejected..and from there..who knows?

The moral of this is that I'm somewhat to blame for lack of confidence because of how I interpreted things.

2) If you can - date girls.

Sorry - this one is just a bit of a light hearted suggestion but in my experience women judge less on size when forming relationships and are less likely to reject someone based on looks alone. Skinny or not, some of the hottest people I've dated have been women rather than men. Maybe it was simply because I was less afraid to approach a hot woman? I dunno, but it is interesting - talk to some lesbian or bi girls if you don't believe me. And then go and buy Angelina or Pink a drink and let me know how you go!

3) Realise that guys in groups may be less likely targets for you.

Men hunting as packs are feral. Even if there is a guy amongst them who loves a curvy woman, he may not admit it in front of his mates, especially if drinking. If you really find a guy in a group hot then find a moment to say hi when he is at the bar or on the way to the toilet! You don't want to be around his mates if they start in on "ZOMG look what the fat chick did" juvenile behaviour.

4) You could try stereotyping, but it could backfire.

Where I live I know that usually a Greek or Italian guy is likely to find me hot. I do know I flirt more with them because they seem open to boobs and belly and appreciative of all things female. But I know that some of them also only like supermodels, so it could backfire! If you can think of a culture that loves a real woman you could try targeting the guys!

5) Be wary of the "BBW Only" man

I know I've suggested trying to find guys who are more open to curvy gals, but watch for the fetish type of guys who only want to date a BBW. One of the scariest dates I went on was with one of these. He spent time bitching about a failed date with a woman who thought she was fat, but really was far too skinny to interest him, and he felt forced to point out that she was only a size 12-14 and that was totally gross. Woah. It's sizeism in reverse and I don't EVER want to be with anyone who is totally about the physical and nothing else.

6) Dare yourself in the street to be a bit more open.

I often glance away when I notice someone looking at me. The internal dialogue starts to run "Oh, they are staring cause you are fat and should be ashamed." But I've stopped doing that. I saw a cute guy in the street and he caught my gaze in his direction and I fought the urge to turn away or drop my eyes all embarrassed like. And you know what - he smiled at me. He may just be polite, but still it was an ego boost cause I chose to interpret it as a good thing.

Along side this goes the obvious advice of not trying to be invisible - walk tall, don't hug the edge of the sidewalk, don't look down at your feet. Where clothes that suit your personality. Don't hide from hairdressers or makeup or bright colours or anything like that and punch anyone who talks about black being slimming. I am socially backward at makeup I know since I didn't see the point as a fat teenager - but it's not too late to learn! We're fat - not lepers.

7) Take the easy way out

I'm a big fan of notes! Write a note and leave it for the cute waiter. Get some of those great cards with your first name and an email or phone number or something and hand them out. Run away if you have to afterwards but it's a start to putting yourself out there. You can work up to asking someone out if you like later.

8) Travel

Everyone has lower inhibitions when traveling. Pretend you are someone new for a few days or weeks and see what happens. Bonus points if you go somewhere that means you have an accent. It's like shooting fish in a barrel then!

9) Dress the part

It's hard work to find sexy clothes, especially lingerie, that flatter a big girl but for me I think of it as like a costume and can play up and be much sexier than I am normally!

10) Rejection happens

Try not to put down rejection to the size thing. Anyone trying to get laid, get lucky, find love or whatever is faced with rejection at times. Lick your wounds and move on!

I don't know if any of this is much help to anyone - I think I suffer just as much as the next girl with the same size issues in public - my escorting is almost like a cheat's way because online clients already know what I look like and being rejected online is not a big deal.

So if any one else wants to suggest options for feeling like a sexual being - love handles and all - then fire away!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

I am still alive

So sorry gang for the lack of posts lately. A few things colliding in my life mean that I'm pretty sure I'm on the path to quitting the whoring for now. Plus I admit to being a tiny bit freaked out by some of the comments, sometimes on the blog, but more often to me personally.

Somehow I think I've picked up a few wanna-be johns as readers, bbw admirers getting their rocks off on the idea of me. And while I had no idea who I was writing the blog for, I think in hindsight I was writing it for girls, other sex workers, and sex worker curious women. Plus wanting to be another voice for the chubbsters of the world. So getting propositioned via the blog was once a quite flattering thing, but some of it has been a tad creepy lately. I don't want anyone getting obsessed with me! I'm much more than just the things I write about here, and you can't get a full picture of me just from this site. Trust me on that ;-)

Another reason I think I'm getting a bit over it all is that it's been a long enough time from my last relationship breakup that I think my heart may be coming back on line.

Quitting is harder said than done. I'm still very much the borderline sex addict I think, but lately I've not really been able to manage the emotional side of sex very well. I feel like I only want to sleep with people that I like and respect, if not love. And I want spooning. This is all very odd for me, and I imagine that the skin crawling sensation while thinking about stranger sex, or fucking just for the sake of it, is what girls who aren't in casual sex must feel like all of the time! Wow, it's pretty limiting. But does give me a lot more spare time!

So I've just turned off the filth phone, and I've pretty much ignored the emails requesting a booking. For a couple of guys I've tried to be polite, and boy has it backfired. To one guy I explained I'd retired, and couldn't see him. His response:

"Hey thanks for your reply. I have the day off as I said and would really like to play with you. I love all women, but especially bbw ones who really turn me on. Even if I could just see you naked and wank that would be hot."

What really irked me about his reply was his lack of respect for me saying "no". He didn't even acknowledge that. Which does worry me a bit - what if I ever said NO in person - would some guys just not hear it and continue on? Also his way of saying "bbw ones" was very depersonalising. I do try and make sure my clients see me as a person - the whole GFE is about not just below the neck but above, however it's clear that doesn't always work!!

The other guy asked if I was still up for fun in bed and I replied that I was, but not in the whoring field any longer. Trying to be a bit funny. His reply: "Great, does that mean a free fuck then?"

Oh My God. You know who this john was? Grandpa. Seriously?! Did he really think that taking the cash out of the equation I would still go to bed with him? I would rather give a blow job to a labrador then sleep with him for free.

The funny this was with both these guys was they didn't try the obvious tactic - offering more money!! Duh!! If there was anyway a retiring whore may give you a repeat booking then it would be for a crap load of dollars!

On a positive note, I've also had a tonne of emails from zaftig girls asking for sex or love advice, or telling me how reading my blog as helped them reconcille their size and their sexuality. This makes me very very happy. And for one special reader I promised her a full blog in reply to her question so stay tuned!



Thursday, April 30, 2009

Best Sex Bloggers

In exciting news I'm the featured blogger over at Best Sex Bloggers this week. It's a great site worth dipping into every now and then to see what fun things have turned up. I was asked to write a post that doesn't appear on this blog, so if you want an extra dose of Curvy you'll have to run across to read it!

And welcome to those readers who have found me though that site too!

Update on the flatmate

Well, she moved out. She was only staying short term. So I don't know what her final decision was but she told me she wasn't going to strip. Then I overheard her talking to someone else about how she was going to do it.

Ah well. I did try and help her come to an educated decision.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

I need advice for a flatmate

So my 21-year-old, ex-model flatmate is thinking she might work as a stripper. She's going to the most exclusive place in town I think to chat about it and so far the conditions and wages seem pretty good.

She asked me for advice. I tried telling her some of my struggles with sex work - sometimes it hurts "just to be a body" and not a full person to these men. Sometimes it's tempting to do more than you plan on doing just for the money! And that it's hard to figure out if going forward you'll want to tell people about this part of your life and you may be creating a skeleton in your own closet to last a lifetime.

She wants to do it for university fees - the usual story. Just "one shift" a week and she's fine. She wouldn't tell anyone and would get some other McJob as a cover too. This is her plan. I tried to tell her that the money can become addictive and she may want to do more than one shift and get sucked in that way!

I have my doubts. I think she's young, not mature enough to cope and without a full understanding of sexuality. She's slept with two guys and is pretty messed up about dating and sex and the like and has also had close calls with too many drugs in the past I gather. These are warning signs to me.

But I don't really know enough to advise to you readers? What should I tell her?



Wednesday, April 15, 2009

No sexing for AGES!

I'm sorry I haven't blogged much of late. My new rules have lead to no sexing. One guy was all cool with the new rules and willing to host, and pay my new rate and sounded quite nice. But his photo was borderline on the four-beers rule, so I didn't accept.

Another regular set up an appointment but then had to cancel so I've not seen him. Yet another regular acted like a toss pot. I told him that my breasts are quite sensitive this week and so could only see him if he could respect that and be gentle and he came back with some one handed texting along the lines of "Hey babz could u cum if I just squeezed and bit ur nipples".

EWWW. I just told him they were sensitive and he took that to mean more fun for him and not more concern for my wishes. I gave him a bit of a lecture about respect and don't care if I never hear from him again. He's the guy who has been getting off just on emails anyhow so good riddance then.

And SplenDaddy! Well despite me telling him several times now to disappear from my life, or step up and have a more rounded adult relationship - he continues to be a fuckwit of the biggest proportions. Emails me with offers of trips to Singapore, or other cities in my country to go with him for travel. He wants everything just the way it was when we first met. He's thick. I just delete his emails. I love it how he just ignores my ultimatum and hopes through persistance I'll change my mind. Hey, I'd love to see Singapore for free. But not *that* much.

So if this trend of less sex work keeps going I'm just going to blog about random sexytime thoughts and opinions. If you want to know my opinion on anything or have a suggestion for a blog post or rant then let me know!

The value of new pussy

If you ever need proof that men think with their penii - no matter their religion, wealth or length of marriage - then look at Mel Gibson. A divorce to cost him close to half a BILLION dollars - just so he can chase some blonde.

WOW! I think there is a lesson in that for anyone in a long term relationship. Communicate and set up plans about what you will do if/when the lust dies, you grow apart, have fetishes the other partner can't tolerate blah blah.

In an ideal world Mel would have set up a marriage where he could have just shagged the chick without the divorce. Shame.

Mind you - maybe he's just a prick and his wife wanted him gone. Either way I don't heart monogamy.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Sex Work as a Career

So I've discovered the coolest thing. I went along to a feminist, alternative, kinda punk, SF Mission district-esque strip show. And they had a booth for the Sex Worker Union in my area. Our own union. I was too scared to approach so Bell went and grabbed the forms and newsletters and magazines for me. I read through them all, eyes bulging. It seems like so much fun.

The union hosts dinners, and talks and get togethers. It's all very above board. They have an arts troupe that perform and education classes you can do - like how to be a sex worker for someone with a disability.

Bell thought the best thing was you could join as a supporter only. $25 and you get the title "Honorary Whore". She looked at me with a glint in her eye, "Yes, but what's the process if I ever want to upgrade to the real membership?"

Hmmm..maybe I'm starting to corrupt my friends.

The even better news about this union? I went to their web site and have these great career paths. Paid jobs helping out sex workers in third world countries. Activism work. Legal work. Admin work. Overseas postings to government funded projects. Some of it work from home, and designed to fit in with sex work. Actually, all of the jobs have as a pre-requisite that you have experience as a sex worker!!!

I'm going to join and maybe start sussing out some of the things I can get involved in. Who knows but long term maybe I could use all of my realjob experience, with my sex work street cred and land one of those great career jobs?

The Rash seems to be clearing. I reckon antibiotics helped. Now to pinpoint what I'm sensitive too - but lots of you other curvy gals have given me suggestions so I'm following them now!

So that means I'm ready to lay on my back again. Yippee!

New Blog Alert

I've started a new blog about a different part of my life - if you've emailed me in the past I may have already given you the heads up with the location of the new blog, but if I missed you, and you're curious then drop me a line to

Never fear, this blog will still continue! I may just be splitting my writing time between the two blogs...and you'd don't need to follow the other one unless you have too much time on your hands.

Oh, I should drop the false modesty. I'd love it if you read along...

Monday, March 23, 2009

Who knew I had readers!

I must say I was quite in awe of the number of gossip gals (I think it was all gals) who emailed me. It was great to hear from you all!

So now you know my news and we can move on..except..well we won't be moving fast LOL.

Just this morning I woke up and was like, "Hmm...I'm in the mood for some sexing." But my new rules are restrictive even to me!

I've taken some of your advice from the comments, and my new rules are:

1) No incalls. It's a bitch really. If they can't host then what? I have found a brothel that rents rooms to gals per call and expects nothing else but that seems a bit of overkill. A nice hotel would be better - but I'm not setting it up given the number of flakes!
2) Higher rates.
3) Less chatty/texty/emaily with regulars. My filth phone has been silent almost a week now!
4) Standards. Raise them.

So now that's all in place. No business as of yet. Which is good really...cause although I'm slightly in the mood I have this strange rash on my body so look like I have bubonic plague. Three doctors - three different guesses. The first guess made my blood boil. Took one look at me being a bigger gal and said it was some sort of sweat rash from rubbing thighs etc. I tried to explain it wasn't appearing when I did exercise but was just given an over the counter cream.

Second doc says insect bites. I'm a bit worried about what type of insect can crawl between my arms and thighs and bite away and then disappear.

Third doc say something called folliculitis and gave me drugs for it. It's kinda helping but I still look struck with the pox.

So hopefully I look less infectous soon and then I'll relauch a round of ads based around my new rules and see what turns up...

Monday, March 16, 2009

Just Amazing

So I've got some mind-blowing news. But I don't really want to blog about it. If you're a complete gossip like myself then feel free to email me at and I will tell you off the interwebs!

In other news - I'm moving house for non-call-girl related reasons so I'm taking the opportunity to stop doing incalls - I think that was part of the boundary issue. Already the clients are whining. If they are too cheap to pay for a hotel room or figure out how to host then I will just lose them as clients. I don't mind.

Whore's Revenge

Oh I am naughty. Dr Spermies (#13) was pushing to see me and I wasn't really in the mood as per my last blog, I've just been kinda chilling out and reconsidering things. I also had a cold so knew I shouldn't pass on my plague. But he kept wanting to see me so in the end I did - cold virus and all. I just thought he deserved it - it won't kill him but will remind him every day of me while he sneezes.

I know it was bad behaviour - but he also did one of the most shocking bits of bad behaviour I've seen. His wife called in the middle of our session (he'd told me his was single at first too mind you!) and the way he talked to her was simply horrid. She was wondering why he was late coming home from his business meeting and he tried to manipulate the call to say he'd *always* said 8pm and not 6pm and he'd promised to call her and she's was confused and he couldn't talk now but would call later. Somewhat protesting the wife was sorta pushed off the phone call.

Then he turned to me and grinned at his deception. "Stupid woman", he said.

Gawed. Some of the guys are true bastards. Not all of them, but that was one of the first time in this experiment I wanted to take the woman's side and tell him what a fuckwit he was. I hope she doesn't get my cold - as I said, the last time we'd seen each other he'd mentioned his single life.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Dear Dr Phil...

I'm having an issue. Totally self-inflicted, but unexpected. I think due to a recent drop in my standards, plus actually fucking purely for cash and not enjoyment, plus going too far with the GFE stuff...I'm starting to hate most men. I can't stand the idea of sex with them anymore.

I'm just feeling worn out. With my whole commitment to a great GFE I'd allowed a few of the guys to text me. So I've been having these crazy sex talk texts on and off - and basically pretending I am what they want me to be - a lover they can talk too who just so happens to be totally into what they are into sexually. I shouldn't have started it. I'm going about my life and I find a message pops up from Dr Spermies "So you totally love it when I rub my cock on your clit right..."

Vomit. I don't. I pretend I do. You buy my pretence. And now take it too far. Texting me, wanting to drink wine with me, wanting to kiss and stroke me like a real lover. Blurgh. But how do I say, "Either book in or bugger off" when I was the one who fucked the boundaries first?

I check my emails and they are on email too. Asking things. Trying to beg and wheddle and negotiate and argue and get cheaper rates and wanting to know more about me and questioning, questioning, questioning. Really most clients at the moment are like a bunch of horrid school boys all wanting a piece of me and I'm finding it harder not to ground them all for lack of emotional maturity.

My gorgeous, friendly, nice guys seem to have dropped off at present. Maybe they've got true love somewhere. Maybe they did the right thing - used me as a service, treated me professionally and then left me alone.

I'm going to have to backtrack. Get some personal space back. Stop replying to the text and the emails and up my rates to remind them of what I am. A part time lover. An escort. Nothing more.

I think it's all coming to a head now too cause it's almost been a year since I last "made love" to someone I loved, and who loved me. For the first six months it was all casual sex, and then it was the whoring experiment. And now I find myself wondering whether relationships were really that bad, and maybe I don't want to be single, and maybe I only want to sleep with people who want to stroke my back, kiss me good morning and bring me a coffee in bed.

Oh no. I wanna go back to being the sex machine with no emotions. The Terminator of Call-Girls. Fuck and Go. Nooooo...what is going on Dr Phil??

Friday, March 6, 2009

Client #15

So it must be Grandpa Week. Or maybe just pension week. I got an offer I thought was a joke a few days ago. An insane amount of money to spend the night with a business man travelling. Twelve hours was the deal. 7pm - 7 am so I could get up and go to my dayjob. It did strike me in some way as working 24 hours straight but I was up for it.

The hotel was in a suburban area, very nice for the area. He'd booked a corner suite with spa and king size bed. He was mid to late fifties, but didn't look it. He was really nervous. But keen. He basically wanted to see me enjoy myself. Spa, order wine, room service, eat with him and laugh in our pyjamas. Lovely. He had some stupid opinions that made me choke on my room service, and I realised how hard twelve hours may be.

But it turned out he was also amazingly educated on the history of prostitution and the way they were respected in other cultures. Then he went into stories about his life - a loveless arranged marriage that was breaking down, issues with sex drummed into him by his culture, work pressures, aging issues. It was fascinating talking to him about these things and he's probably the first client to treat me as royalty. Like I should be worshiped for the services I provide.

His culture also made him really, really love BBW gals. He pinched my rolls, lifted my breasts. I felt like a prized heifer being admired at market. He said things like "You are perfect, not an inch of fat on you." Um, sure. All 215 pounds and no fat?! What was I then? According to him, "Stunningly plump", and "should never be allowed on the street alone for all the attention I'd get from men."

He bathed me in the spa, which sounds a little creepy but he was giggling and stroking me, loving the feeling of my curves. At then he said in awe, "Oh, where's that belly button? I'll have to lift your stomach to find it to clean."

For him - another compliment on my abundance. Now, I may work hard at fat acceptance and all of that self-esteem stuff, but I was mortified at that comment. Eek.

Luckily pushing my boobs towards a man's mouth always makes him shut up, then I steered us onto the bed for a massage. Yes, he almost fell asleep. He rolled over, asked me to masturbate for him and watched me. Then wanted some oral sex..but couldn't really get it up. We put some porn on, but no joy. In the end he asked for a hand job and we were done.

It was really only twenty mins maybe of sexing. A few hours of conversation, bathing and eating. And then lights out at 10pm.

I felt so guilty for taking such an obscene amount of money. Then the snoring started. Holy fuck. It was worse than SplenDaddy. He was kinda embarrassed by it so would try and stop himself by jerking or kicking a leg. So all night it was SNORE. Kick. Silence. Just when I'd start to relax then into the silence - SNORT. SNORE.Kick. Silence. REPEAT.

I got no sleep. At 6.30am he asked me if I'd had a peaceful night. I lied and said yes. He told me I could head off early if I liked and I was out of there!

Fistfuls of cash. Me sitting in a car park at dawn stuffing it into an overnight bag. Heading to my day job with all of the other commuters. Surreal.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Client # 14 (Fucking Grandpa)

Oh dear me. I threw away my standards for a good paying two hour booking. Cause the money was going to cover more than half my bill. Not only would this guy not have been shaggable with the four beers or less rule, I could have drunk a whole slab (24 beers) and still not have gone there.

It was like a challenge I decided to accept. Truth, Dare, or Physical Challenge. I was kinda curious to see how I would cope.

He was late fifties. With a porn star mustache that probably looked good in his first decade of work. In 1961. He treated me like a sex worker. I was there to please him and be his play thing. He wanted to shower with me and simply turned for me to soap him up. No words. Just kinda "Get to it." Very Mad Men. I was his little lady/whore.

Naked - he looked fine. He felt like a woman really. His body soft and having lost muscle tone. It was kinda nice as long as I didn't think of Samantha in Sex in the City when she shagged the old dude, and saw the saggy bum. I did not look at all in the bum-ular region.

On the plus side he was awesome at oral sex. Massive orgasm. On the funny side, he fell asleep at one point, suddenly, and just like Abe Simpson. And he got leg cramps. We had to call time out. And he shook when he supported his body weight. Awwwww.

Gramps still had some bad habits that life hadn't beaten out of him. The dreaded hand on the back of the head trying to force deep throating. Fuck I hate that. And he couldn't kiss. It was horrid.

First, he smoked the same brand of tobacco as my father. And as he opened his mouth and leaned it I was transported back to the caravans of my youth. Bad, bad visual. Do not want to think of my father in this situation. Ewww.

Anyhow cause of his facial hair, kissing him was quite like muff-diving. Except that this tongue came out of his face-muff to maul and slober on me. Smelling of my father.

I really did just "Lay back and think of England" as they say.

What I want to know is how he can get so good at going down, and not learn to kiss along the way? So many men are like that. Maybe cause kissing is about intimacy and they don't want to excel at that?? What type of women marry these men and spend their whole lives coping with the bad kissing? Dr Spermies (Client #13) he was obsessed with rubbing his dick on my clit. For almost an hour. Now I think I would enjoy extended versions of this just as much if I got myself two slices of week-old, slimy ham, lubed it up and held them out for him to rub betwixt. It simply does nothing for me.

He roared like a animal when he came. I was very impressed. Best cum noise I've heard yet. Surprised he didn't beat his chest in triumph. In his day he would have been the alpha male head of the baboon troop I'm sure. Once were warriors. Ha.

Ah well, at least he didn't say "Back in my day" - and he did appear to have his own teeth.

No regrets from me.

Show me the money

I admit...this past few days I've been fucking for the cash. It hasn't been about my sexual needs. Or about an erotic adventure or fun stories.

I got a massive bill and it was either going to chew up almost a weeks salary from realjob or it was going to eat into my savings. Then I realised I have a third option. Fuck to pay the bill. I didn't have to, but it seemed like a good idea to be able to pay the bill in cash without touching reallife. A nice benefit of my hobby for once.

That's how I came to um, "Fuck Grandpa".

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Gnashing of teeth

So I just read this quote about whoring:

"A profession that wastes people, from the inside out."

I know people write that crap all the time but it just made me want to throw my computer. Safe to say I disagree.

Client #13

There wasn't really anything wrong with #13. But he just annoyed me. I think it's cause I'm suffering bad PMS. Shouldn't have seen him perhaps until I was more in the mood.

It took me ages to get a photo off him and he kept trying to see with and squirm out of the photo thing. A bad start when someone won't follow my rules.

Then he tried to argue with me over dollars. Then when he turned up he kissed me straight away. Before I got the money and I was just kinda thrown he was so quick off the mark.

He was naked and into bed within one second after handing over the cash and I guess my head was spinning cause he was so confident. He was actually a really good kisser and really good at going down on me - two massive orgasms. But he still bugged me.

I think it was cause it was such a true GFE - stroking me and spooning me and kissing me with passion - and yet I hadn't even said a word to him. So it was obvious I could have been anyone in the bed with him. Maybe I was reacting badly to being "just a body" to him.

Plus he was obsessed with rubbing his cock on my clit. That's all he wanted to do - hardly anything else. It totally got him off but was just boring for me. Much easier just to fuck then get in all sorts of positions so he can rub and kiss. Grrr. Even a titty job would have been more fun.

At one point I had to warn him about my ankle - it's still pretty black and green. And then he told me he was a doctor and he'd take care of it for me. Ewwwwww. Sleazy Doc. Then he told me maybe he'd want the doctor nurse fantasy. Ewwwww. I don't want to imagine my doctors as sexual beings. Gross.

Then he revealed he lived in a really rich suburb. So then I was a bit pissed about him trying to negotiate dollars.

Hmmm..he was really not as bad as I'm making him sound. I just hadn't realised how much of a shitty mood I was in until his tongue was already down my throat.

Here's a tip

When you use the word "spermies" to refer to your cum I totally lose interest in sex with you.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Schoolgirl Shenanigans

Read this story!

It's about a 15 year old rolling in money after moonlighting as a prostitute. The way I see it, at least she was in charge of her part time job - and it pays a helluva lot better than a fast food job!

Bit dodgy on the agency's behalf - surely they knew??

She's young enough to pass it off as some sort of prank perhaps if she wants to. Otherwise with that kind of entrepreneurial spirit she'll be running a string of escort agencies by twenty-one!

I hope they let her keep the money!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009


Remind me not to blog straight after seeing a client, when I'm all hopped up on sex endorphins. Last night I fell asleep dreaming of running my own agency - with all men on my books. The little guy from yesterday, previous ex lovers who've wanted to be paid - I know heaps. I was coming up with ideas for photo shoots and whore names for them. Nathan and Blake and Rory.

This morning I woke up and came to my senses. These guys pay me! Would I *really* pay them, or recommend them to other women to pay for. Um. No.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Client # 7 Again

Sometimes I get the gut feeling I'm pushing too hard with this hobby. I'm up for some fun or dollars, so I'm answering ads, placing ads, hustling and even emailing previous clients. And ...nothing...

That's what it's felt like this week. But I finally clued in that it's a good thing. For starters I have a green and black ankle - from toe to heel and back. Not an ideal situation if I have to run or fight or something if I get a bad new client. I've also got bruising near my elbow, which Bell kindly pointed out while she was babysitting me - amusing me and buying me chocolate on my days off realjob! I must have fallen in the oddest way.

I've also got the most horrendous bruising on my boobs. Which I hadn't expected but it was after my hotel tit job. This guy loved my breasts too much it seems and I was too blissed out to notice, or stop him.

So given all of that, and the feeling of pushing too hard, I decided to totally ignore my sex work. Except that $100 Diet Coke guy was emailing me every few mins with a blank email and a begging subject line. Sigh. I finally explained why I was saying no, in nice terms. He writes back that "pushing boundaries is his nature" but it doesn't mean disrespect.

Yeah. Like I'd want a boundary pusher in my house while I'm naked. Pffft. No thanks buddy. Although if he does get close to the $1000 an hour mark again then I'll do it with a big body guard maybe thirty cms from my bed. Ha. One who will crack skulls if he "pushes boundaries".

I was so determined to just chill out and recover that when my filth phone rang over and over today I kept ignoring it. Finally I answered. It was Client #7 - he of the Seriously Whack Sperm.

He was close by and wanted to pop in - in FIVE mins.

What they hey. As soon as I decide to turn my back for a break - a repeat client. Easy, safe, likely no sex involved. I tried to delay him a bit so I could have a shower but he said just to greet him in my casual clothes and shower with him.

Wow..he's grown some balls since the epic fail of last time. Has demands and ideas. Nice.

Slight drama when he goes to open the wrong door and is about to walk in on my lurking flatmate, rather than the bathroom. EEK.

So we shower - and it's like hanging with an old friend. It's that tradie vibe again - he's pretty cool. We laugh, he lectures me on eating more vegetables so I don't bruise so easily and we soap each other up and down and have fun in the shower a bit.

So he's full of fun and suggestions. I love it that now that he's more comfortable he wants to play. He wants to try fisting. And cause I'm up for it with my new silicone lubes we have a play. Fun. Get pretty close to full fisting since his hands are small. Then he wants some anal play on him. Yay. Then a head job. Easy.

Finally he jerks off to come. It's not as white or weird as last time. Maybe his wife is actually putting out for a change (meow!)

I'm close enough to an orgasm that I ask him if he minds - and I use the vibrator and I'm done in like sixty seconds. He watches and appreciates the show.

Then he tells me his grand plan. He wants to be an escort or a sensual massage guy. He wants me to run the bookings and ads and take whatever cut I want.

OMG. He wants me to be his Madam! His Pimp! God - I've ALWAYS secretly wanted to be a brothel madam. Of course I say I'll give it a go. Not likely much call for a male escort who isn't into guys - but who knows!

I'll need to scrub him up a bit, give him a name and a personality to market (the pocket sized tradie? Mmmm)

This is all such a fun distraction from reallife.


So..I just booked a three week summer holiday to Hawaii. And I am, of course, curious about sex work there. I'm kinda tempted. All those tourists and GI Joe boys....

But..given where I am my whoring is legal...I'm much too freaked by compulsive viewing of Law and Order episodes to think I wouldn't get entrapped or arrested or tracked down on Craigslist.

I've already research to find the fines are like $500 or community service or up to 30 days jail. Which isn't a lot. BUT..that would be very hard to explain to my reallife boss. Oh, I can't come home you see - I'm in JAIL!

Thoughts? Suggestions? Hints?

Monday, February 23, 2009

Amusing myself

I just got a reply from Mr Cheese to my anon massage ad. He wants to come massage me.

I couldn't help it. I replied:

No thanks.



God Bless the Internet

You know that Enid Blyton book The Faraway Tree? Where you could climb to the top and all sorts of different worlds would whizz over the tree and you could pick and choose your worlds and treats?

That's what the web is like for me. I reach in and see what I can find.

The cleaning ads haven't gone too well so far. One guy wants to do all of my ironing and the only payment he would like is to tweak his nipples every now and then. That's a fair trade I think. Never mind I haven't ironed a bloody thing for over five years. I have plenty of things that should be ironed - I just wear them wrinkled, or throw them in the dryer to be passable.

But the real need is my bathroom and floors and the like - the things that are hard to hobble and do. I found one super keen guy - but he's not free for another few weeks. He wants to be watched and told to get naked and then he'll clean.

Not sure I'll last another few weeks in a messy house so am paying a cleaner tomorrow. Damn it. I have to be legit and hand over cash.

After cleaning I moved on to trying to find someone to come to my house and give me a lovely massage - my muscles all over are a bit sore from being off balance I think. Within hours I had almost a hundred replies. Fun. Just like Christmas with a million new possible adventures. And in the middle there - an ex-lover. One who had turned out to be married and lied his arse off about it for many months in a very convincing way. He had replied to my ad after swearing no more cheating on his wife.

Fuck it. I broke my own rule. I wanted a massage and if I replied to the ex lover and told him who I was then I wouldn't have to worry about safety with a stranger in my house. I could just ignore the fact I knew he was married for one day only I decided. Besides. It was ONLY a massage.

Yeah right.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Notes from the Couch

Thanks all for your well wishes. I am parking my butt and trying not to hobble as some of you said - that may just make it a more damaging injury - I've got that into my head now!!

SplenDaddy wanted to see me this weekend before flying out of the country for a few weeks but when I told him I'd love some easy going sex and explained about the ankle he went all cold. Said, sorry about the ankle, but I don't want to have sex with you if you're injured.

OUCH. Way to cut a girl. I was a bit shocked and then I was like, duh, we're nothing more than sex toys to each other and I'm not a fully functional sex toy at the moment so fair enough. He doesn't owe me anything. If I want flowers and a cup of tea bought to me in bed I need to find a lover or boyfriend. Timely reminder to help me keep those barriers in place!

So I figured there is only one thing I can do to amuse myself on the couch - and that's get naked house cleaning boys in to do all of my cleaning and chores. I've always been curious about those guys that advertise their fantasy as nothing more than getting naked and cleaning in front of a clothed girl...silly idiots don't even want cash for it.

Should be a laugh I think.